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"The doctor would like you to pee into this chalice."
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Clinic
'When I arrived I was cleanshaven.'
Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"
'Stop picking up after your kids.'
'No, I'm not here to see the doctor-just the magazines.'
Deflated patient with acupuncturist
'Well, it just sounds like a common cold to me. I wonder why you bothered calling.'
The health center doesn't ask me to make signs for them any more.
SCHOOL OF YOGA, YOU MUST LEVITATE THIS HIGH TO ENTER.
'Touch my toes? I can't even see my toes!'
Holistic Health Centre - Now Featuring Whole-Body Billing.
'Well, well, well...'
Overweight dumb-bells at a Weight Loss Centre having their weights removed
" '£250 for a week at a health centre', the brochure said, 'lose weight and give up smoking', it said, 'guaranteed results' it said...'
WeightWatches - Overweight Watches at a weight-loss clinic seeking help.
'The only time you can see Doctor Hudson is int he morning. He always jogs during lunch and he sleeps the rest of the day.'
'I couldn't give up fags, so I've started drinking long-life milk.'
'What you have,ha,ha,ha,is an infectious laugh,ha,ha,ha,I wouldn't worry about it,ha,ha,ha.'
Child to another child - 'En garde!'
'I can see him around three...so give him an appointment for ten o'clock.'
Health Centre/All Night Stress Counselling
Maternity Ward: Push & Keep Pushing