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'The bad news is that we've detected an irregular heartbeat. The good news is that the rhythm is irresistible!'
'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'
"Make that sound again, you know, the one that makes me laugh."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, bed-ridden, bedridden, check-up, check-ups, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, health check, health checks, symptom, symptoms, stethoscope, stethoscopes, bedside manner, bad doctor, bad doctors, bad bedside manner, inappropriate comment, inappropriate comments, sound, sounds, laugh, laughter, laughing, sick, sickness, ill, illness
"Of course I'm worried. He never washes his hands."
Tags:ventriloquist, ventriloqists, ventriloquism, ventriloquism dummy, dummy, ventriloquist dummies, dummies, doctor, doctors, health check, check up, g.p., gp, gps, general check up, check ups, physician, physicians, general practitioner, general practitioners, washing, wash, wash, washes, hygiene, hygienic, unhygienic, unsanitary, sanitary, worry, disease, art, artists
Depressed, not sleeping, low self esteem... still enough about me, what about you?
Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.
"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."
Tags:dobermann, dobermanns, doberman pinscher, doberman pinschers, blood pressure, blood pressures, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, physical, physicals, health check, health checks, stressful job, stressful jobs, stressed out, stress, cat, cats, dog, dogs, canine, canines
"I see you've got 'You Light Up My Life' stuck in your head. My sympathies."
Tags:doctor, doctors, patient, patients, check up, check ups, check-up, check-ups, health check, health checks, song, songs, you light up my life, debby boone, stuck, repeat, repeats, repeating, ear, ears, temperature, temperatures, examine, examines, examining, examination, examinations, sympathy, sympathise, sympathising, sympathetic, annoy, annoys, annoying
"You seem perfectly healthy to me."
Tags:trump, donald trump, president donald trump, president trump, trump administration, health check, health checks, presidential health check, presidential health checks, trumps doctor, doctor, doctors, eating laundry detergent, laundry detergent, stupid trend, stupid trends, stupid, stupidity, meme, memes, tide pod challenge
'For your stress test just log on to your 401-k'
"You have repetitive motion injury."
'Take a nice, deep breath and let it out.'
'Just as I suspected... you don't chew your food enough.'
Your performance evaulations and sales figures are exceptional, but the company's a little bit concerned by your cholesterol numbers.
'Might be depression. Your tongue is depressed.'
'I'll have to think about this...I don't want to make any rash decisions!'
'Eye response,...normal.' - Deer Physicals.
'Your reflexes are still good!'
'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'
"I have your lab test results. Cut back on your vitamins. You have the healthiest urine I have ever seen."
'Nurse Cromwell, forget the enema!'
'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'
"No madam, your baby doesn't have any urinary problems."
"Welll your balance is OK...now lets check your credit rating!"
'We can't just ignore it. At the very least, let me touch it up in Photoshop.'