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"You'll have to be X-rayed, Mr. Jensen. I seem to be picking up Rush Limbaugh."
Tags:rush limbaugh, overweight, right wing, talk radio, conservative, conservatives, republican, republicans, republican party, partisan, partisans, partisanship, heart problem, heart problems, heart attack, heart attacks, clogged arteries, stethoscope, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, gain weight, gains weight, gaining weight, rush, worry, worries, diagnosis, reason to worry, reasons to worry, heart attack risk, heart attack risks
'Maybe our health insurance people aren't sticklers.'
"On the upside, you're only one heart attack away from reaching our platinum V.I.P. status."
Tags:heart attack, heart attacks, heart problem, heart problems, heart trouble, heart troubles, thrombosis, thoracic surgeon, thoracic surgeons, surgery, surgeries, surgical procedure, surgical procedures, platinum, platinum status, platinum statuses, vip, vips, v.i.p., v.i.p.s, upside, upsides, veins, arteries, clog, clogs, clogged, clogging
'Oops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, not the monthly estimate.'
"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."
Tags:town hall, town hall meeting, town hall meetings, diagnosis, diagnoses, heart problem, heart problems, heart trouble, heart troubles, local politics, local politician, local politicians, heart attack, heart attacks, mayor, mayors, city council, city councils, city councilman, city councilmen, protest, protests, protester, protesters, busybody, busybodies, complain, complains, complaint, complaints, whine, whines, whiny, whinge, whinges, whinging, moan, moans, moaning
'I told you. This is NOT a good age to throw a surprise birthday.'
'I am going to test your heart under stress. Listen to what I am shouting. BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATIONS LEGALLY AVOID INCOME TAX.'
"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."
Tags:bad habit, bad habits, vice, vices, smoker, smokers, smoking, unhealthy lifestyle, unhealthy lifestyles, lifestyle choice, lifestyle choices, doughnut, doughnuts, junk food, fast food, fast foods, junk foods, doctor, doctors, heart attakc, heart attacks, diabetic, diabetics, diabetes, hospital, hospitals, relapse, relapses
"To play it safe, I still take one aspirin every other day."
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, life after death, heaven, angel, angels, health, fitness, prevention, heart attack, heart attacks, stroke, strokes, aspirin, blood thinner, drug, drugs, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical, medicine, medicines, meds, medication, medications, pill, pills, medical, non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, nsaid, nsaids, heart health, doctor, doctors
Pay Hospital Bill Here.
'I haven't got all your results back from the labs, but an initial 'off the cuff' diagnosis would be that you're a 'heart attack waiting to happen.'
'It's either this or a heart attack!'
"I hate to be a downer, but, statistically, people are more likely to die of heart disease than by getting
Tags:heart disease, zeus, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, god, gods, greek god, greek gods, roman god, roman gods, greek myth, greek mythology, statistics, hit by a bolt of lightning, stat, stats, unlikely, unlikely event, unlikely events, heart attack, heart attacks, heart disease, aim, aims, aiming, bad aim, poor aim, mock, mocks, mocking, disrespect, disrespects, disrespecting, disrespectful, throw, throws, throwing, bad shot, bad shots
"He'll be damned difficult to replace!"
Tags:replacement, replacements, butler, butlers, servant, servants, domestic worker, domestic workers, heart attack, heart attacks, domestic, domestics, club, clubs, gentlemen, gentleman, aristocrat, aristocrats, aristocracy, heartless, heartlessness, worker, employee, employees, employer, employers, hr, human resources
'So is it a real heart attack, or is he just faking it?'
Tags:wrestle, wrestles, wrestling, wrestler, wrestlers, retirement home, retirement homes, retire, retires, retiring, retired, retirement, fake, fakes, faking, act, acts, acting, acted, heart attack, heart attacks, cardiologist, cardiologists, cardiology, myocardial infarction, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'Will you relax?! It's a well-known fact that most heart attacks occur in the morning.'
"Do you want that with or without angioplasty?"
Tags:angioplasty, heart surgery, fat, saturated fat, fats, unhealthy, cholesterol, service, fitness, dining, dines, businessmen, businessman, heart attack, heart attacks, coronary heart disease, cardiac arrest, angioplasties, operation, operations, operating, medical, medicine, stent, stents, mesh, meshes, fatty, greasy, diner, booth, killer
'Unbelievable. Smoking a cigarette while shoveling snow. Did he leave a note?'
"No, no, it was a heart attack. The air bag worked like a charm."
Tags:car crash, car crashes, airbag, airbags, safety measures, heart attack, heart attacks, heart failure, heart failures, gates of heaven, the gates of heaven, pearly gates, the pearly gates, st peter, st.peter, heaven, afterlife, the afterlife, dying, car safety, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, fate, unlucky, unluckiness
"That's the hospital policy. Cashiers must be familiar with emergency shock treatment."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, hospital policy, hospital policies, cashier, cashiers, nurse, nurses, bill, bills, money, medical bill, medical bills, fees, charges, medical costs, cost, costs, expenses, expensive, medical billing, shock, surprise, heart attack, heart attacks, emergency, emergencies, shock treatment, defibrillator, defibrillators, health insurance, medical insurance, universal healthcare, universal health care, socialised medicine, socialized medicine, socialised healthcare, socialised health care, socialized healthcare, socialized health care, medicaid, medicare, obamacare
'My name is Daniel Nathan Reed. I don't initial anything.'
"Sounds like a heart attack. Tell him to take two aspirin and call my office in the morning."
Tags:heart attack, heart attacks, diagnosis, diagnoses, thrombosis, drug, drugs, ethics, ethical, sleepy, uninterested, disinterested, two aspirin, routine, uncaring, bedside manner, doctor, doctors, family doctor, family doctors, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, unethical, ethics, aspirin, routine call, routine calls, on call, can't be bothered, couldn't be bothered, bored
"I'll ask just one more time...does this outfit make me look like Madonna?"
'So - what does it sound like to you?'
'I had to report it. Based on your lifestyle, your heart attack was premeditated.'