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"It's from the hospital. They write that the warranty on your heart expires next Thursday. They wish you a hearty farewell!"
'What do you mean, you've had a change of heart?'
"We have a cow AND a pig heart valve. Then, we gave him chicken lips, and a farmhand. I recommend you register him with the USDA."
Renown heart surgeon, doctor Linda Padgett, performing her famous "The-best-way-to-aman's-heart-is-through-his-stomach" technique.
"This is the heart transplant patient."
"How can you mend...a broken heart?"
"We'll widen the clogged artery by inserting a balloon."
'No, I'm not the famous heart surgeon, but I charge exactly what he charges...'
"All right, so he dropped the heart. The floor is clean."
'I'm a cardiologist with a child in third grade art class. What can I say?'
'Dolores, cancel Mr. Rubin's transplant surgery. He's had a change of heart about his change of heart.'
"This will be an easy one. These lawyers don't have any working internal organs."
'His heart was tragically deformed.'
'I can see now Harold, that you're a man after my own heart.'
"Okay, so I'm not REALLY a cardiologist, but I think I can spell it, K-A-R-D. . . I think there's an L in it too. Anyway, this thing really is the size of my fist. Cool."
The Telltale Heart Bypass