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"Dear USPS - Julie Michael's mail is no longer in care of Apt. 8-B. She has moved out to Queens. Queens!! Can you believe it??? Three years I devoted to that woman! Oh, well. C'est la vie. I'll find someone else I suppose. Eventually. Yeah, right!"
"It's heartbreaking. He was just getting real definition in his lats."
"...He broke your heart, did he? Well, I can't say I didn't see this coming!"
'Well, it's not that I regret marrying a cockroach, but looking at the poor thing walking around for two weeks now since the decapitation, just breaks my heart.'
"Pretty Maiden where art thou?"