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"Yeah, I'm okay. Just picking up the pieces after a traumatic investment."
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investment, investments, investing, invested, invests, invest, traumatic, traumatise, traumatising, traumatised, traumatized, traumatized, traumatizing, pick up the pieces, picking up the pieces, picked up the pieces, picks up the pieces, investment manager, investment managers, hedge fund manager, hedge fund managers, financial advisor, financial advisors, business deal, business deals, cleaning up the mess, cleans up the mess, cleaned up the mess, fixing, overworked, overwork, unappreciated, underappreciated, tired, tires, tiring, exhausted, exhausting, exhaustion"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."
"Do you take MasterCard?"
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dead, death, die, dies, dying, died, departed soul, departed souls, gates of heaven, clouds, entry, entrance, payment, payments, payment method, money, credit card, credit cards, debit card, debit cards, finances, financial broker, financial services, financial service, hedge fund manager, hedge fund managers, financial adviser, financial advisers, bribe, bribes"Unfortunately, it turns out my marriage was pegged to the dollar."
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marry for money, marrying for money, rich, riches, rich guy, rich guys, marry, marriage, businessman, businessmen, dollar, dollars, currency, currencies, currency market, currency markets, foreign exchange, investor, investors, investment, investments, investing, hedge fund, hedge funds, hedge fund manager, hedge fund managers, divorce, divorces, divorcing, split up, splits up, splitting up, breakup, breakups, break-up, break-upsChaplin Financial.
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logo, logos, actor, actors, chaplin, silhouette, silhouettes, financial services, financial service, financial manager, financial managers, financial advisor, financial advisors, logo, logos, logo designer, logo designers, designer, designers, finance, finances, hedge fund manager, hedge fund managers, accountant, accountants, accounts, company, companiesS&P 500
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stocks, stock, stock market, stock markets, market index, market trends, market trend, spray, antiviral spray, coronavirus, corona, covid-19, covid 19, virus, viruses, stock exchange, economist, economists, hedge fund manager, hedge fund managers, invest, investor, invests, investing, invested, investors, pandemic, pandemics, market crash"Invest? No offense, but I've read about you guys."
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invest, invests, investment, investments, crook, crooks, investor, investors, hedge fund, hedge funds, hedge fund manager, hedge fund managers, criminal, criminals, thief, thieves, unsavory, unsavoury, distrust, distrusts, distrusting, distrustful, money manager, money managers, stock market, stock, stocks, stocks and bonds, bad reputation, bad reputations, reputation, reputations"I'm a Schedule D kind of guy with a little Schedule E thrown in."
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schedule d, schedule e, accountant, accountants, accounting, 1040, 1040 form, 1040 forms, investor, investors, asset, assets, broke, lose money, loses money, losing money, investment, investments, broker, brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, tax return, tax returns, penniless, loss, losses, financial loss, financial losses, hedge fund, hedge funds, hedge fund manager, hedge fund managers, tax season, taxes, filing taxes, personality type, personality types, date, dates, dinner date, dinner dates, insolvent, insolvency"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"
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pension, pensions, pensioner, pensioners, pension adviser, pension advisers, pensions adviser, pensions advisers, retirement fund, retirement funds, pension fund, pension funds, retirement plan, retirement plans, pension plan, pension plans, hedge fund, hedge funds, hedge fund manager, hedge fund managers, responsibility, responsibilities, bonus, bonuses, stressful job, stressful jobs"As a politician, I was a flip-flopper. So a job at a hedge fund would be perfect for me."
"Today the market closed at exactly the right price, and all buyers and sellers were very happy."
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stock market, stock markets, stock, stocks, stocks and bonds, buy, buys, buying, buyer, buyers, seller, sellers, selling, happy ending, happy endings, investor, investors, investing, investment, investments, investment firm, investment firms, hedge fund, hedge funds, hedge fund manager, hedge fund managers, absurd, absurdist, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists, capitalist system, capitalist systems, news report, news reports, market report, market reports"All I know is, I named my pet porcupine Bill Ackman, and he immediately lost a hundred points."
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bill ackman, shortsell, shortsells, shortselling, short, shorts, shorting, short sell, short sells, short selling, investor, investors, investment, investments, hedge fund, hedge funds, hedge fund manager, hedge fund managers, stock market, stock markets, stock, stocks, stocks and bonds, porcupine, porcupines"The office next door is vermin-infested...hedge fund managers."
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hedge fund manager, hedge-fund manager, hedge-fund managers, hedge fund managers, termite, termites, mice, mouse, pest, pests, pest control, pest controls, banker, bankers, investment adviser, investment advisers, hedge fund, hedge funds, hedge-fund, hedge-funds, unpopular professions, unpopular jobs'Did I get this right? You fear that there's a hedge fund manager in your cupboard ready to take over your company at the first opportunity?'
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hedge fund manager, hedge fund, hedge funds, hedge fund managers, paranoia, paranoid, paranoias, therapist, therapists, shrink, shrinks, businessman, businessmen, phobia, phobias, fear, fears, breakdown, breakdowns, mental state, mental health, therapy, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, hostile takeover, hostile takeovers'You're one smart hedge fund manager, Sloat. Unfortunately, our company is really a front for a Maya death cult.'
"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."
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hedge fund, hedge fund manager, hedge fund managers, hedge-fund manager, hedge-fund managers, mansions, wealthy, privilege, snob, snobs, snobbery, elitist, elitists, elitism, teachers, money, investment, mansion, education, teacher, student, income, wealth, income gap, income gaps, art lesson, art lessons, art class, art classes