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Litigator's Heaven: 'Would you look at this? No handrails! Man, someone is just asking for a big, fat lawsuit. And don't get me started on the heating system.'
"We took care of our leaf problem a long time ago."
Tags:fence, fences, wall, walls, garden, gardens, inside, indoors, home, homes, house, houses, gardening, gardeners, gardener, neighbour, neighbor, neighbors, neighbours, nosey, nosy, men, man, husband, husbands, home owner, home owners, neighborhood, neighbourhood, leaf, leaves, leaf problem, rake, raking, rakes, hell, hellish, hells, satan, satanic, devil, the devil, devils, demon, demons, punished, punishments, religious imagery
". . . and now for some superduper funtastic team bonding games."
Heaven's IN/OUT filing.
Tags:heaven, heavens, file, filing, files, fate, fates, judgement, judgement day, in, out, tray, trays, filed, last judgement, final day of judgement, in tray, out tray, in-tray, out-tray, hell, hells, purgatory, damned, saved, doomsday, god, gods, christian, christians, the day of the lord, office, offices
"Sorry, Bernie. We found out about your rejuvenating jelly."
'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'
Performance reviews in Hell.
Pollyanna in Hell.
'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'
"It doesn't look like a ruptured gas line to me."
"I think Italian is spoken in Heaven and Dutch is spoken in Hell."
"By the way, HarperCollins decided your book did not warrant publication."
Tags:writer, writers, novel, novella, novels, novel writing, poem, poet, poetry, poets, poetic, literature, literary, word play, play on words, ironic, irony, author, authors, authored, book, books, book lover, writing, should be writing, you should be writing, manuscript, artistic, artist, artists, art, arts, culture, cultured, writer's block, bookworm, book worm, bookworms, book worm, book, books, novel, novels, library, librarians, librarian, book lover, book lovers, literature, literary, lit, lit major, read, reading, avid reader, readers, reader, novel, novels, novelist, novelists, critic, everyone's a critic, critical, criticise, criticize, rejection, rejected, reject, rejects, hell, hellish, hells, satan, satanic, devil, the devil, devils, demon, demons, punished, punishments, religious imagery
"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"
Tags:hell, hells, hell's, hell's angels, hells angels, gang, gangs, gangster, gangsters, niche, niches, group, groups, motorcycle, motorcyclist, motorbike, motorbikes, biker, bikers, transportation, car, cars, decal, decals, upgrade, upgrades, flame, flames, aesthetic, winter, winter sports, ice, ice rink, rink, hockey
" 'Abandon all hope' only comes in the sweatshirt."
Number of the beast.
Tags:666, number of the beast, devil, devils, satan, demon, demons, hell, hells, heaven, heavens, ticket, tickets, que, ques, beelzebub, annoy, annoys, annoying, annoyance, annoyances, annoyed, steal, steals, stole, stolen, number, numbers, beast, beasts, wait, waits, waiting, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Well I know it's still working! It's just not cooling the room as quickly as it used to!'
'You're nuts! It isn't any hotter than usual so quit brining up global warming!'
'You better take care of the bill quickly or there's going to be hell to pay.'
Tags:devil, devils, satan, hades, heat, heats, heater, heaters, heating, bill, bills, billing, billed, pay, pays, paying, paid, hell, hells, owe, owes, owing, owed, demon, demons, repairman, repairmen, maintenance man, maintenance men, maintain, maintains, maintaining, maintained, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"When were you planning to tell me about Hell?"
Tags:hell, hellish, hells, underworld, afterlife, afterlives, after-life, after-lives, purgatory, purgatories, raising, child rearing, child-rearing, growing up, raised, grow up, religion, religions, bible, bibles, christianity, christians, church, service, services, religious, upset, tantrum, pout, parents, parent, parenting, upset, discover, discovered, find out, finding out
'Didn't ya hear? To save energy we have to keep the thermostat at 1,100 degrees instead of 1,200 degrees!'
'71...72...73... Come on! Fell the burn!'
'Man, they sure know how to twist the knife.'
"This is customer support, or as we call it, the eighth circle of hell."
"Can I see that 'National Law Journal' when you're through with it?"
'On the bright side, the dry heat really seems to be helping my arthritis.'