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"You fix it by buying a new one."
Tags:tech support, technical support, it, information technology, i.t., i.t. support, it support, technician, technicians, technical help, techie, techies, modern life, modern technology, technology, computer, computers, smartphone, smartphones, smart phones, smart phones, laptop, laptops, tablet, tablets, broken, fix, repair, virus, viruses, computer virus, computer viruses, buy, buy a new one, product, products, customer service, service, helpdesk, help desk, helpdesks, help desks, geek, geeks, electronics, electronic devices
Information: 'Out getting more.'
The sublime, the ridiculous.
"Have you tried doing the thing you just told me you tried?"
'Sorry, no refunds. Didn't you read our fine print in Sanskrit about our return policy?'
Reference Desk/Obscure Reference Desk
Tags:reference desk, reference desks, help desk, help desks, information desk, information desks, library, libraries, librarian, librarians, reference, references, obscure reference, obscure references, obscure, little-known, unknown, little-known book, little-known books, pun, puns, wordplay, play on words
"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."
"'The Invisible Man...?' Sorry Sir, I can't seem
"It's not just him. The whole system's down."
Information window, Opinion window.
"Has anybody turned in civilization by the name of 'Atlantis'?"
Tags:lost, lost and found, lost civilization, civilization, history, historical events, ancient civilizations, atlantis, lost civilizations, lost civilisation, lost civilisations, ancient civilisation, ancient civilisations, lost, help desk, help desks, historical event, mythical civilisation, mythical civilisations
"So with our new Service Level Agreements our help desk is offering a much faster surly and sarcastic response."
"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."
Tags:single point of contact, spoc, service desk, service desks, helpdesk, help desk, help desks, hotline, hotlines, desktop support, support service, support service officer, support service officers, service levels, customer service, itil, consolidation, consolidate, support, it, consolidating, stress, stressed out, anxiety, work anxiety, responsibility, responsibilities
Crayon company answers phone in the yellow department.
"I need another book on decluttering. Can't find the last two I borrowed."
Tags:hoarding, hoarder, hoarders, hoard, hoards, messiness, mess, mental state, mental states, library book, librarian, librarians, self-help books, self help book, self help books, clutter, mental illness, messy, mental health, the library, library books, hoarder, do it yourself, dyi, self-help books, organization, organized, tidy, librarian, help desk, customer service, information, education, instruction, learning, recovery
"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."
Tags:mall, malls, shopping, shopping center, shopping centers, shopping centre, shopping centres, christmas, christmas shopping, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, customer service, help desk, sales consultant, sales consultants, animal lover, animal lovers, god, jesus, christianity, christian, christians, love, acceptance, religion, religions, religious, bible
'We've changed our mind. We don't care any more!'
"Thanks for calling the celebration help desk. For assistance with high fives, press one now. For fist bumps, press two, for chest bumps, press three..."
Tags:customer service, call operator, call operators, customer services, help desk, help desks, phone options, automation, phone trees, customers, assistance, troubleshooting, technical difficulties, celebrations, celebrating, celebrate, fist bump, chest bump, high five, high fives, fist bumps, chest bumps, high-five, high-fives
"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).
"I've driven cross country with my wife, three kids and a dog. I know what a hard drive is."
Tags:hard drive, hard drives, hard disk, hard disks, help desk, support desk, support desks, it, it support, drive, drives, driving, road trip, road trips, long drive, long drives, difficult drive, difficult drives, technological illiteracy, technologically illiterate, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, misunderstandings
"All I know is, this is my first day and they're paying minimum wage."
Child Support Agency - 'Can you help us get our computers to work?'
Desert Help Desk.
'The guy from I.T. is here...'