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On hold, Rick listens to "As Time Goes By" over and over again.
Tags:bogart, humphrey bogart, hold music, on hold, classic film, classic films, classic movie, classic movies, as time goes by, help line, help lines, tech support, automated, automation, sad song, sad songs, ex, exes, ex-lover, ex-lovers, jilted, sorrow, sorrowful, weakness, achilles heel, weaknesses
"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."
Tags:training recording, training recordings, training tape, training tapes, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, helpline, helplines, help-line, help-lines, help line, help lines, customer service, customer services, customer satisfaction, customer experience, training purpose, training purposes, customer experience, customer experiences
"You have reached our 800 number. . . . If you are a preferred account, please dial B-I-G-S-H-O-T now. . . . If you are an ordinary account, dial J-O-E-B-L-O-W now. . . . If you have a service complaint, dial G-E-T-L-O-S-T now."
Tags:automation, automated, big shot, big shots, status, statuses, separate status, separate statuses, complaint, complaints, complaints line, complaints lines, ordinary person, ordinary people, hotline, hotlines, helpline, helplines, help line, help lines, preference, preferential treatment, unhelpful, bank, banks, banking, tech support, technical support, big bank, big banking, support line, support liens, customer support, customer support line, customer support lines
"To return to the original menu say say 'Goddam son of a bitch!'"
Tags:menu, menus, phone call, phone calls, automated, automation, automated, phone menu, phone menus, robot, robot call, robot caller, robot calling, frustrating, frustration, frustrations, understand, understands, understanding, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, support line, support lines, help line, help lines, tech support, infuriating, infuriate, infuriates, stress, stresses, stressor, stressors, modern life, modern times, help, call for help, calling for help
Workaholic Hotline - 'Come on now, you can do it. Just put down those annual reports and slowly back away...'
A help lion.
"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes and used in a hilarious mix for our annual office party."
Tags:telemarketer, telemarketers, telemarketing, tech support, technical supporter, it support, information technology, support line, support lines, help line, help lines, phone, phones, phone call, phone calls, record, records, recording, recordings, office party, office parties, christmas party, christmas parties, prank, pranks, pranking, amuse, amuses, amusing, gag reel, gag reels, training purposes, mix, mixes, customer service, customer service center, customer service centers, call center, call centers, call centre, call centres
'Thank you for calling Tech Support. Your computer is one month old. We no longer support that model. Good day.'
'Your call is important to us, but so are our coffee breaks. We'll be with you shortly.'
'No, this is the department for Obbfuscation, hindrance, confusion and prevarication...'
"This thing isn't working."
Tags:invention, inventions, inventor, inventors, wheel, wheels, ancient technology, ancient technologies, router, routers, wireless, wireless router, wireless routers, repair, repairs, repairman, repairmen, caveman, cavemen, neanderthal, neanderthals, primitive, primitives, unplug, unplug for fifteen seconds, unplug for thirty seconds, tech support, it, it support, help line, help lines
'You have reached our 24-hour tech support line. Please call back at another time. We are here to serve you 24 hours, but not in a row.'
'You've been friendly to a customer? You anwered his question competently and solved his problem?? Don't you dare to do that again, mister!!'
"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"
Tags:call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, helpline, helplines, help line, help lines, meditation, meditator, meditating, meditators, customer support, customer service, bad service, metaphysical, computer, computers, pc, pcs, modern technology, modern technologies, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, turn it off and on again, consciousnesses, conscious mind, guru, gurus, hermit, hermits
'The bull's still alive and well, Mr. Fillimond, unfortunately he's not grazing in your field.'
"I can't see the POINT of all this emphasis on 'customer care'!"
Excellent Customer Care...Job Satisfaction...
Tags:customer care, customer service, customer services, call center, call centers, call centre, call centre, marketing, sales, helpline, customer feedback, customer experience, customer, customers, help line, help lines, call line, call lines, working environment, working environments, job satisfaction, job security
"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with life!"
Tags:customer care, customer service, customer services, call center, call centers, call centre, call centre, marketing, sales, helpline, customer feedback, customer experience, customer, customers, help line, help lines, call line, call lines, job dissatisfaction, difficult customer, difficult customers
"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."
"How many times do I tell you, you CANNOT unfreeze your screen with your hairdryer!"
Tags:hairdryer, hairdryers, frozen screen, frozen screens, computer screen, computer screens, unfreeze, unfreezes, unfreezing, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, synonym, synonyms, computer crash, computer crashes, computer malfunction, computer malfunctions, malfunction, malfunctioning, it, it support, tech support, support line support lines, help line, helpline, helplines, help lines
'Your call is important to us but so are our mocha lattes. Stay on the line. We will be with you shortly.'
"Can't you just pull your socks up and stop whingeing?"
Tags:good samaritan, good samaritans, bad samaritan, bad samaritans, help line, help lines, suicide hotline, suicide hotlines, self-help, tough love, giving tough love, pull your socks up, pulling your socks up, bootstrap, bootstraps, pull yourself up, pulling yourself up, self-reliance, whinge, whinges, whingeing, whine, whines, whiner, whiners
"Give me the number of the Snappy Pop Bang Cereal Company, please!"
Tags:cereal, cereals, breakfast cereal, breakfast cereals, metaphor, metaphors, metaphorical, cereal company, cereal companies, help line, help lines, shoot, shoots, shooting, shooting, customer support, customer support line, customer support lines, cereal company, cereal companies, gunshot, gunshots
"I've just unpacked my new remote control. There's no operating instructions."
Tags:remote control, remote controls, old age, old person, old people, instruction manual, instruction manuals, remote, remotes, tv remote, tv remotes, instruction, instructions, new technology, new technologies, tech support, help line, help lines, it support, tv control, new technology, baffle, baffled, baffles, baffling