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'I'm sorry, it's just been so long since someone asked me what I wanted.'
"The wife drove me to drink but says I'll have to get a taxi back."
Tags:henpeck, henpecked, henpecks, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, married life, married couple, married couples, pub, night out, nights out, drowning your sorrows, drinking problem, drinking problems, drink problem, drink problems, alcohol problem, alcohol problems, marriage problems, marital problems, alcoholic, alcoholics
"I'd like a tattoo that says I'm my own man. But put it sompelace my wife won't see it."
Tags:bossy wife, bossy wives, wearing the pants, domineering wife, domineering wives, tattoo, tattoos, body art, skin art, fashion statement, fashion statements, fashions, fashionable, wife, wives, husband, husbands, independence, asserting your independence, henpecked, henpeck, henpecks, married couple, married life, spouse
"Can you make your Mother disappear?"
Tags:marital problem, marriage problem, marital problems, marriage problems, disappearing act, disappearing acts, disappearing trick, disappearing tricks, magician, magicians, henpecked, henpeck, henpecks, magic act, magic acts, husband, husbands, wife, wives, family life, nag, nags, nagging, nagger, naggers
'She always gets her way. Everything is always, 'Yes, deer.''
"It's beak-proof. That makes it perfect for the hen-pecked husband."
Tags:henpecked, henpeck, henpecks, hen-pecked, hen-peck, hen-pecks, chicken, chickens, chick, chicks, bird, birds, poultry, poultry farm, poultry farms, nagging wife, nagging wives, nag, nags, nagged, married life, married couple, husband, husbands, wife, wives, bullet proof vest, bullet proof vests, bullet-proof vest, bullet-proof vests, marital problems
"Betty, who will I be voting for?"
'If my weasel of a husband files as head of household, it's tax fraud.'
Battered Cod - We are watching The Waltons omnibus on Sunday! My mother is moving into the guest room! Have you mowed the lawn yet?'
'You'd better call the domestic abuse hot line before you go home to your wife!'
'If you think that's bad, you should see our bedroom wall!'
'Yes, he looks young for his age - he's been divorced a long time.'
"Not to complain but you promised to mow the lawn."
Tags:chore, chores, household chore, household chores, yard work, yard chore, yard chores, garden chore, garden chores, lawnmower, lawnmowers, husband, husbands, wife, wives, nag, nags, nagging, nagger, naggers, complain, complaining, henpeck, henpecks, henpecked, henpecking, hospital bed, hospital beds
"I play the husband, but am promised a speaking part next time."
'No offence, Bob, but I think you're henpecked!'
'Hey! - Don't you meditate when I'm talking to you!'
'In the pecking order, he's mostly pecked.'
'What makes you think you're henpecked?' - 'I'm still taking orders from my first wife.'
'Martha, could I have a 4-hour liberty tonight?'
'Fred henpecked? I'll say - his first wife still orders him about!'
TV on demand
"Well? What have you got to say for yourself?"
"Can this wait? I'll never live it down if my staff sees you henpecking me."
Tags:relationships, marriage, nagging, henpecking, henpeck, henpecked, henpecks, mascots, fast foods, fast-food, embarrassing job, embarrassing jobs, mascot, restaurant, fast food, manager, service industry, fried chicken, signs, advertising, promotion, marketing, advertisements, advertiser, advertisers, advertising, saving face