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"Your next fattened kid could be your last."
Tags:guilty pleasure, guilty pleasures, kid, kids, witch, witches, wicked witch, wicked witches, villain, villains, bad guy, bad guys, baddie, baddies, fairy tale, fairy tales, hansel and gretel, cholesterol, high cholesterol, nutrition, nutritionist, nutritionists, nutrition advice, dietitian, dietitians, diet, diets, dieting, fatty food, fatty foods, health food, health foods, cannibalism, warn, warns, warning, warnings, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, bad habit, bad habits, favorite food, favorite foods, favourite food, favourite foods
The Walrus and the Spoilsport
Tags:the walrus and the carpenter, through the looking glass, alice's adventures in wonderland, cholesterol, cholesterol levels, poem, poems, poetry, shellfish, high cholesterol, blood pressure, high blood pressure, medication, nag, nags, nagging, chide, chides, chiding, admonish, admonishes, admonishing, healthy food, healthy foods, healthy eating, healthy eater, healthy eaters, nutrition, nutritionist, nutritionists, dietitian, dietitians, dietician, dietiticians, healthy life, healthy living, gadfly, gadflies
'Your cholesterol is high. Lay off the sea food.'
"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"
Tags:statin, statins, cholesterol, cholesterol levels, fatty food, fatty foods, diet, diets, dieting, prescription, prescriptions, high cholesterol, bad cholesterol, drug, drug dealer, drug dealers, drug dealing, stodge, stodgy food, stodgy foods, health nut, health nuts, bar food, bar foods, diner food, diner foods, carnivore, carnivores, carnivorous, medication, medications, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, drug user, drug users, drug use
"You need to get your cholesterol where your sperm count is."
Tags:low sperm count, sperm count, semen, sperm, high cholesterol, doctor, doctors, doctors office, medical, medical center, medical centre, medical centers, medical centres, physical, check up, check-up, blood work, blood tests, test result, test results, hormones, hormone, hormone imbalance, diagnosis, treatment, male infertility, infertile, sexual health, reproductive health, reproductive system, unimpressed, insulted, insult, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, medical advice
'Is it me or is it a bad idea to eat at a place that prints CPR instructions on their placemats?'
'Ma'am, I'm afraid the insulation in the walls of your gingerbread house contains dangerously high levels of cholesterol.'
"I'm looking at your results, Mr. Dumpty...and your cholesterol is dangerously high!"
"I'm looking over your results, Mr. Dumpty...and your cholesterol is dangerously high!"
Your performance evaulations and sales figures are exceptional, but the company's a little bit concerned by your cholesterol numbers.
"Do you, Joan, promise to love, cherish and make sure Josh takes his cholesterol lowering medication each day?"
"Good cholesterol surging its way through the city's arterial system..."
'Do you Joan, promise to love, cherish and make sure John takes his cholesterol lowering medication every day?'
"Take a wild guess, butter boy."
Tags:butter, fatty food, fatty foods, cholesterol, cholesterol level, cholesterol levels, lard, fat, fats, artery, arteries, clogged artery, clogged arteries, cause of death, death, grim reaper, saturated fats, high cholesterol, heart attack, heart attacks, diet, bad diet, bad diets, weight gain, heart disease, saturated fat
'Well, it's no wonder you haven't been feeling too well lately, Santa - you're 96% cholesterol.'
First Visit From The Acme Cholesterol-Removal Service
"I'm still more concerned about your cholesterol."
Tags:arrow, arrows, bow and arrow, archery, doctor, doctors, general practitioner, general practitioners, medical check up, medical check ups, hospital, hospitals, doctors appointment, doctors appointments, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointments, physician, physicians, cholesterol, high cholesterol, health, healthy, fitness
"Your cholesterol is high. I'm putting you on a non-fat diet...supermodels only."
Tags:count dracula, dracula, vampire, vampires, doctor, doctors, check-up, check-ups, checkup, checkups check up, check ups, healthy eating, cutting out fat, eating healthy, model, models, supermodel, supermodels, super model, super models, body standard, body standards, halloween, non-fat, no-fat, no fat, non fat, nonfat, cholesterol, high cholesterol
'You need more cholesterol. The oat bran level in your body is too high.'
"...and the King Cholesterol Meal comes with a side order of CPR."
Tags:restaurants, restaurant, meals, meal, supper, dinner, waiters, waiter, cholesterol, health, heart, cpr, medical, calorie, calories, high cholesterol, heart attack, heart, food, order, unhealthy, cardiopulmonary resuscitation, death, dying, eating, eat, side, sides, dinner, lunch, diner, cafe, restaurant
'When you lowered my cholesterol, doc, I'm afraid you also lowered my zest for living.'
"Your good cholesterol is bad, your bad cholesterol is good and your socks don't match."
'My doctor's put me on a strict diet. From now on I have to ask my victims how high their cholesterol is.'
'It's about your cholesterol level, Mr Dumpty!'
"Look, Doc, I'm a penguin. All I do is swim and eat fish. How on earth do I end up with high cholesterol?"