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"Let me guess - your gas pedal stuck."
'But, officer, I AM wearing a seat belt.'
'It's a slow trap.'
"Sir, have you been drinking, not drinking, drinking, not drinking, drinking?"
Some mistakenly think 'HOV Lane' means Hot Occupant Vehicles.
'Technically it wasn't a red light I went through. It was more of a deep vermillion.'
"Where's the fire, pal?"
Tags:fire, fires, engine fire, engine fires, car fire, care fires, traffic stop, pulling over, irony, ironic, policeman, police officer, police officers, policemen, police men, police, highway patrol, highway patrolman, highway patrolmen, speed, speeder, speeders, speeding, pulled over, traffic ticket, traffic tickets
'A family car trip.' 'Contents Under Pressure.'
'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'
"I'll be needing all your pertinent information, miss."
Tags:payola, bribe, bribes, bribing, pull over, pulling over, cop, cops, police, police officer, police officers, highway patrol, highway patrolman, highway patrolmen, information, pertinent information, license and registration, licence, license, driver's licence, driver's license, measurement, measurements, hips, waist, bust, flirt, flirts
"Oh-now I see where we part company. You are cleaving unto the spirit of the law, while I am cleaving to the letter of the law!"
"60 may be the new 50 in the fantasy land you live in, but here in the real world, it's called exceeding the speed limit."
Tags:speed, speeds, speeding, speed limit, speed limits, speeding ticket, speeding tickets, moving violation, moving violations, traffic, traffic cop, traffic cops, highway patrol, highway patrolman, highway patrolmen, midlife, midlife crisis, sports car, sports cars, fantasy, car, fast car, traffic ticket, traffic stop, delusion, delusions, delusional, wishful thinking
"Wow. You DO own the road."
"You were doing 10 knots over the limit."
"I better approach this one really carefully."
"On the upside, Sarge, we've broken our record time for getting to the scene of an accident."
Tags:accident, accidents, crime scene, crime scenes, police, cop, cops, sheriff, sheriffs, highway patrol, highway patrolman, highway patrolmen, record time, record times, response time, response times, emergency, emergencies, 911, 999, quick response time, quick response times, fast response time, fast response times, car accident, car accidents, crash, crashes, car crash, car crashes
'Officer, I thought road signs were just mere suggestions.'
Speed Reading Class.
'What do you mean I can't take the HOV lane? There are two of us?'
'He drew me offsides!' - 'He was encroaching.'
'Dang. If I'd known there was a car under there, I'd have used the HOV lane.'
'I know I was speeding, but I've only got 10 minutes until Cops.'
'Care to give me a 'ballpark' figure of how fast you think you were going and what you think your fine will be?'
Low Tech Automated Speed Enforcement.
"I saw the guy who cut me off on the highway get pulled over by a police officer!"
Tags:baldo, police officer, police officers, highway patrol, highway patrolman, schadenfreude, great day, great days, good day, good days, retribution, get revenge, gets revenge, getting revenge, revenge, vengeance, rules of the road, bad driver, bad drivers, pull over, pulls over, pulling over, traffic ticket, traffic tickets, moving violation, moving violations, dangerous driver, dangerous drivers, dangerous driving