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"Let me guess - your gas pedal stuck."
'But, officer, I AM wearing a seat belt.'
"Sir, have you been drinking, not drinking, drinking, not drinking, drinking?"
"Where's the fire, pal?"
Tags:fire, fires, engine fire, engine fires, car fire, care fires, traffic stop, pulling over, irony, ironic, policeman, police officer, police officers, policemen, police men, police, highway patrol, highway patrolman, highway patrolmen, speed, speeder, speeders, speeding, pulled over, traffic ticket, traffic tickets
'A family car trip.' 'Contents Under Pressure.'
"I'll be needing all your pertinent information, miss."
Tags:payola, bribe, bribes, bribing, pull over, pulling over, cop, cops, police, police officer, police officers, highway patrol, highway patrolman, highway patrolmen, information, pertinent information, license and registration, licence, license, driver's licence, driver's license, measurement, measurements, hips, waist, bust, flirt, flirts
"Oh-now I see where we part company. You are cleaving unto the spirit of the law, while I am cleaving to the letter of the law!"
"60 may be the new 50 in the fantasy land you live in, but here in the real world, it's called exceeding the speed limit."
Tags:speed, speeds, speeding, speed limit, speed limits, speeding ticket, speeding tickets, moving violation, moving violations, traffic, traffic cop, traffic cops, highway patrol, highway patrolman, highway patrolmen, midlife, midlife crisis, sports car, sports cars, fantasy, car, fast car, traffic ticket, traffic stop, delusion, delusions, delusional, wishful thinking
"You were doing 10 knots over the limit."
"I better approach this one really carefully."
"On the upside, Sarge, we've broken our record time for getting to the scene of an accident."
Tags:accident, accidents, crime scene, crime scenes, police, cop, cops, sheriff, sheriffs, highway patrol, highway patrolman, highway patrolmen, record time, record times, response time, response times, emergency, emergencies, 911, 999, quick response time, quick response times, fast response time, fast response times, car accident, car accidents, crash, crashes, car crash, car crashes
'I know I was speeding, but I've only got 10 minutes until Cops.'
'Care to give me a 'ballpark' figure of how fast you think you were going and what you think your fine will be?'
Low Tech Automated Speed Enforcement.
'I'm telling you, George, with a radar detector it's impossible for the police to catch you speeding.'
'Notice how much everyone slows down since we put up that sign?'
'Why don't you look at ME that way?'
'A fuzz buster? Kind of optimistic, aren't you?'
'Maybe you had the radar screen upside down and it was a plane...'
'Look, honey. It's one of those red light running cameras.'
Speed Limit 55 MPH. Enforced by very fit officers.
'I used to be married but now I just have a motorcycle.'
'Can't you read?'
'My spirit guide told me your inner child really needs a speeding ticket.'