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A man walks towards "Enlightenment" while his feet walk towards "Sandals".
"When I was your age, I had to hike ten miles through the ice and snow to a porno store when I wanted to look at dirty pictures."
Tags:pornos, dirty picture, dirty pictures, reminisce, reminisces, reminiscing, nostalgia, nostalgic, hard times, struggle, struggles, struggling, internet, internet commerce, e-commerce, exaggerate, exaggerates, exaggeration, exaggerations, hyperbole, hyperbolic, on demand, smut, hike, hikes, hiking, physical media, brick and mortar, store, stores, old-fashioned
"What, may I ask, does landscape have to do with gender?"
"Isn't this fun?"
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, hike, hiking, hikes, date, dates, dating, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriend, girlfriends, outdoors, great outdoors, travel, travelling, traveller, travellers, traveling, traveler, travelers, mountain, mountains, backpacking, backpacker, backpackers, walking stick, exercise, exercises
'Ok, this is far enough into the wilderness. My phone just died.'
Tags:threat level, threat levels, backpacker, backpackers, hike, hikes, hiking, hiker, hikers, backpacking, outdoors, great outdoors, outdoorsman, outdoorsmen, fear, fears, fearful, fearfulness, threat rating, threat ratings, wilderness, wildernesses, geography lesson, geography lessons, geographic lesson, geographic lessons, annoyance, annoyances, annoying, irritate, irritates, irritation, irritations, irritating
"Is it my imagination, or has it been an unusually wet summer?"
Tags:rain, rains, rainy, rainy summer, rainy summers, summer, summers, summer weather, mushroom, mushrooms, toadstool, toadstools, shroom, shrooms, oversize, oversized, huge, enormous, wet summer, wet summers, fungus, fungi, outdoors, outdoorsman, global warming, climate change, weird weather, nature, natural world, hike, hiker, hikers, hiking, hikes
"I'm poison oak. I'm pretty sure I'm poison oak.... Or is that poison oak?"
Tags:poison oak, poison ivy, plant, plants, identification, id, iding, identifying, hike, hikes, hiking, hiker, hikers, botany, botanist, botanists, uncertain, uncertainty, woods, forest, walk, walks, walking, confused, confusion, toxic, poison, poisons, poisonous plant, poisonous plants, rash, rashes, identity crisis, identity crises, identity
"So how does that eightfold path get us back on the Garden State?"
Tags:path to enlightenment, paths to enlightenment, new jersey, jersey, garden state, guru, gurus, wiseman, wise man, wisemen, wise men, wisdom, wisdom seeker, wisdom seekers, direction, directions, path, paths, enlighten, enlightens, enlightenment, hike, hikes, hiking, lost, wrong directions, philosophy, philosopher, philosophers
'Unfortunately, this, here, is still a mystery.'
Moot Point: Welcome to members of the debating club on their annual hike.
'What's that Scottish word for when it's cold gray and raining?'
"F.Y.I., sweetie, bears are attracted to drama."
Tags:bear, bears, bear attack, bear attacks, drama, crying, hike, hikes, hiking, hiker, hikers, couple, couples, scared, frightened, crying, nature, wildlife, safety, survive, survival, bear repellant, lost in the woods, animals smell fear, don't cry, hunting, the woods, the great outdoors, mauled, dramas, drama queen, drama queens, bear repellent
Not far enough. Keep going.
"This would be a great place to put a huge city."
Tags:modernization, city, cities, city planning, wilderness, nature, natural world, national park, national parks, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists, spoil, spoils, spoiling, despoil, despoiled, hike, hikes, hiking, untouched, beauty, beautiful, unappreciative, bottom line, profit, profits, profit motive, profit motives, visionary, visionaries
Stuck in the stile.
'This is where the trail gets a little more challenging.'
All trails go nowhere.
'I think you might've over-packed. We'll only be gone for an hour.'
'We don't need helicopter vision, Manfred. We need a helicopter.'
"Boy, are we glad to see you."
Tags:squirrel, squirrels, information, information booth, information booths, hike, hikes, hiker, hikers, lost, lost and found, backpack, backpacks, backpacking, backpacker, backpackers, welcome sight, welcome sights, get lost, gets lost, getting lost, kiosk, kiosks, information kiosk, sight for sore eyes
"Which trail has the best cell-phone reception?"
Tags:phone, phones, mobile, mobiles, mobile phone, mobile phones, cell, cell phone, cell phones, texting, text, modern life, modern world, tech, gadget, gadgets, talisman, relied, reliance, rely, relying, culture clash, clash, clashed, clashing, country, countryside, persona, personas, sticks, out in the sticks, metro, metropolitan, class, classes, city, city kid, city life, city boy, city living, urban, urbanity, urban life, urban living, urban world, modern life, modern living, culture shock, culture, cultures, liberal, liberal elites, townies, couple, couples, rural, mid west, midwest, mid-west, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, trail, hiking, hike, hiker, hikes, hikers
"How far is that in city blocks?"
'Hand over the trail mix and nobody gets hurt.'