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"We look for people who can quickly adapt to changes in the workplace."
"Besides caring too much? I'd probably have to go with Kryptonite."
Tags:superhero, superheroes, hero, heros, job interview, recruit, new recruit, recruiter, recruiting, potential employee, new employee, hire, hiring, human resources, hr, career, careers, job, jobs, work, employment, employer, weakness, what is your weakness, kryptonite, job search, job hunting, weaknesses
"You say your biggest faults are working too hard and blind loyalty to your employer. What do you take me for… An idiot?"
Tags:fault, faults, weakness, weaknesses, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, interviewing, skill, skills, hire, hires, hired, hiring officer, hiring officers, employer, employers, kiss up, kisses up, kissing up, suck up, suck ups, biggest fault, biggest weakness, greatest weakness, lie, lies, lying, impress, impresses, impressing, good impression, good impressions
'We were ready to hire you until we saw the photo of you on Facebook sliding on the ice...'
"What the hell? We could use an idiot."
Tags:idiot, idiots, hiring, hire, hires, hired, new guy, new guys, diversity, workplace diversity, diversity hire, diversity hires, positive discrimination, moron, morons, unqualified, incompetent, incompetence, application, applications, interview, interviews, interviewing, job interview, job interviews, worker, workers, working, colleague, colleagues, co-worker, co-workers
I'll do what everybody does–sell this startup just before we have to hire a female employee.
Tags:sexist, gamer, gamers, gaming, tech company, tech companies, startup, startups, start-up, start-ups, silicon valley, women in the workplace, geek, geeks, geeky, male-dominated, glass ceiling, glass ceilings, feminist, feminists, feminism, misogyny, misogynist, misogynists, positive discrimination, affirmative action, hire, hires, new hire, bro, bros, tech bro, tech bros, diversity, diversity hire, diversity hires, discriminate, discriminates, discriminating, discrimination
"Miss Gaines, send in someone who reminds me of myself as a lad."
If we hired the same way we elect...
'Money can't buy happiness? Then how much to lease it?'
Tags:psychiatrist, psychiatrists, shrink, shrinks, head shrink, head shrinks, head doctor, head doctors, session, therapy, treat, treats, treated, treating, money cant buy happiness, happy, happiness, lease, rent, hire, rich, wealth, wealthy, misunderstood, misunderstand, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'I like your initiative. You've got the job.'
"We're looking for people to fire."
Tags:honest, honesty, honesty is the best policy, hire, hired, hiring, hires, personnel, hr, h r, h.r., h.r, human resources, business, big business, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, exec, execs, executive, manager, management, corporate, corporation, corporations, employment, employed, fire, fired, firing, office worker, office drone, office drones, excuse, excuses, interview, interviews, interview skills, capitalism, late stage capitalism, sardonic, sarcastic
'Students are influenced by television, video games, advertising, music, fashion, and their teachers. I'm looking to hire teachers that can reverse that order.'
"As corporate sniper, you'll of course be given an office with a window."
Tags:office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, boss, bosses, hired, hire, new job, job, jobs, employee, employees, employment, gun, guns, gun control, second amendment, right to bear arms, firearm, firearms, handgun, weapon, violence, shooting, mass shootings, shootings, school shooting, school shootings, rifle, rifles, semiautomatic, automatic
"At this point, I'm just happy to still have a job."
"We only hire temps, and you have a look of permanence about you."
Tags:temp, temps, temp worker, temp workers, office temp, office temps, permanent, permanence, permanent job, permanent jobs, worker, workers, workplace, workplaces, corporation, corporations, corporate culture, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, big corporation, big corporations, uncaring, hire, hires, hiring
"That was fun—Now you're rehired."
Tags:fire, firing, canned, canning, redundant, made redundant, redundancy, redundancies, cruel, cruelty, hire, hired, hiring, rehired, rehiring, re-hired, re-hiring, hierarchy, hierarchies, business hierarchy, business hierarchy, business executive, business executives, business manager, business managers, abuse of power, abusing power, abusive, bully, bullies, bullying, office bully, office bullies, office bullying, rat race, the rat race, getting fired
'They stopped making excuses. It's cheaper to import them.'
"If we give you an office with a window, how do we know you won't just fly away?"
Tags:bird, birds, birdman, birdmen, hiring, hiring process, hire, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interviewer, interviewers, interviewee, interviewees, human resources, hr, h.r., recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, job application, job applications, applicant, applicant, searching for work, looking for a job, applying for a job, searching for a job, employee, employment, promotion, promotions, office manager, office managers, office management, businessman, businessmen, office, offices, office space, office spaces, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism
Knowing that her doctorate in bio-physics made her profoundly overqualified for the job, Susan played dumb during the interview.
"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."
Tags:cat, cats, feline, felines, hiring, hiring process, hire, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interviewer, interviewers, interviewee, interviewees, human resources, hr, h.r., recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, job application, job applications, applicant, applicant, searching for work, looking for a job, applying for a job, searching for a job, employee, employment, promotion, promotions, c.v., c.v.s, cv, curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, education, educated, college, university, uni, ivy league, college degree, college degrees, mba, ba, b.a., bachelor’s degree, bragging, bragging, puffery, showboat, showboating, bluster, boast, boasting, flex, flexing, braggart
'Mom, we've hired a few people to fill in for you while you relax on Mother's Day.'
"I've penciled you in, Haskins, and I can eraser you out."
"It's not that I don't like the job you're doing—it's just that I'd like to start seeing other people do it."
Tags:honest, honesty, honesty is the best policy, hire, hired, hiring, hires, personnel, hr, h r, h.r., h.r, human resources, business, big business, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, exec, execs, executive, manager, management, corporate, corporation, corporations, employment, employed, fire, fired, firing, office worker, office drone, office drones, excuse, excuses, workplace, unfair, job, jobs, working world, world of work, capitalism, late stage capitalism, sardonic, sarcastic
"You'll be a perfect addition to our expendable workforce."
Tags:business, businesses, company, companies, corporate, corporation, corporations, management, manager, managers, executive, executives, hierarchy, employee, employees, worker, workers, expendable, unimportant, replaceable, disposable, not important, lowly, low, low man on the totem pole, office life, office, offices, position, positions, rank, ranks, perfect addition, perfect additions, hiring, hire, hired, new worker, new employee, new workers, new employees, recruit, recruiter, recruiters, recruitment, hr, human resources, h.r.
"If somebody's listening to this conversation, I need a job."