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'How do you explain these terrible verbal SAT scores?'
'All I ask for is an unfair advantage.'
'Retirement plan? Well, every week a dollar of your salary goes toward the purchase of a lottery ticket.'
'Sorry I'm late, but I had trouble finding your office.'
'This IS our first time on the canal! How did you guess?'
-"Brian, how are you at decision making?" -"Do you need the answer right away?"
'Actually, I don't know what I was thinking hiring you, Jack.'
Tags:hire, hires, hiring, hirer, hirers, employee, employees, pie, pies, inspection, inspections, inspector, inspectors, jack horner, plum, plums, thumb, thumbs, nursery, nurseries, rhyme, rhymes, poke, pokes, hole, holes, ruin, ruins, ruined, destroy, destroys, destroyed, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
'While we were very impressed with each of you, we have decided to offer Brenda the position of product tester.'
"Tell me about the bar codes and sales prices on the back of your certification diplomas."
Tags:work, workplace, office, hr, hirer, hirers, applicant, applicants, application, job, jobs, diplomas, bar codes, sales prices, boss, bosses, applicant, applicants, employees, job, hire, hiring, resume, hr, human resources, recruitment, delivery, hiring, employment, employing, employ, job, work, jobseeker, jobhunter, job seeking, competitive, candidate, job market, office, cheat, fake, fakes, faker
"Yes, I'm good with figures. My prison job was stamping numbers into license plates."
Tags:hr, personnel, job interview, job interviews, job candidate, job candidates, human resources, hirer, hirers, job applicant, job applicants, prisoner, prisoners, prison jobs, prisons, convicts, ex-cons, ex con, ex cons, prison, convict, ex-con, prison job, numbers, license plates, licence plates, skill set, cv, cvs, resume, resumes, skill-set
"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."
"If you have a short fuse, this job isn't for you."
'Before we order, I'd like to read my poem, 'If I Were Hired'.'
I.R.S. - Looters will be hired.
'Yes, we're an equal opportunity employer. However, we don't have any opportunities at this time.'
'Do you really hate people?'
'We have a dilemma in our hiring policy, we can't hire anyone with a low IQ, but only an idiot would work here.'
'We don't have any openings now, but we will certainly keep your application on file.'
'Right now that position is filled by a bear, but I'll keep your name on file.'
'Sorry, we just filled our Financial Analyst position, but we do have an opening in Sacrificial Lambs.'
'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'
'If you live where you can pick up the boss on your way here, you're hired!'
'No, we don't do any animal testing, but don't rule out a pop quiz once in a while.'
'We're looking for someone with a little more experience.'
'Other than the fact that you were a trustee at the county jail, do you have any other character references?'