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'All I ask for is an unfair advantage.'
'Retirement plan? Well, every week a dollar of your salary goes toward the purchase of a lottery ticket.'
'Sorry I'm late, but I had trouble finding your office.'
-"Brian, how are you at decision making?" -"Do you need the answer right away?"
'While we were very impressed with each of you, we have decided to offer Brenda the position of product tester.'
'Actually, I don't know what I was thinking hiring you, Jack.'
Tags:hire, hires, hiring, hirer, hirers, employee, employees, pie, pies, inspection, inspections, inspector, inspectors, jack horner, plum, plums, thumb, thumbs, nursery, nurseries, rhyme, rhymes, poke, pokes, hole, holes, ruin, ruins, ruined, destroy, destroys, destroyed, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"Tell me about the bar codes and sales prices on the back of your certification diplomas."
Tags:work, workplace, office, hr, hirer, hirers, applicant, applicants, application, job, jobs, diplomas, bar codes, sales prices, boss, bosses, applicant, applicants, employees, job, hire, hiring, resume, hr, human resources, recruitment, delivery, hiring, employment, employing, employ, job, work, jobseeker, jobhunter, job seeking, competitive, candidate, job market, office, cheat, fake, fakes, faker
"Yes, I'm good with figures. My prison job was stamping numbers into license plates."
Tags:hr, personnel, job interview, job interviews, job candidate, job candidates, human resources, hirer, hirers, job applicant, job applicants, prisoner, prisoners, prison jobs, prisons, convicts, ex-cons, ex con, ex cons, prison, convict, ex-con, prison job, numbers, license plates, licence plates, skill set, cv, cvs, resume, resumes, skill-set
"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."
'Before we order, I'd like to read my poem, 'If I Were Hired'.'
'Yes, we're an equal opportunity employer. However, we don't have any opportunities at this time.'
'We have a dilemma in our hiring policy, we can't hire anyone with a low IQ, but only an idiot would work here.'
'We don't have any openings now, but we will certainly keep your application on file.'
'Sorry, we just filled our Financial Analyst position, but we do have an opening in Sacrificial Lambs.'
If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.
'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'
'Other than the fact that you were a trustee at the county jail, do you have any other character references?'
'The boss will like this. Your resume says you misappropriated funds from the Acme Corp., our chief competitor.'
'We're looking for someone with a little more experience.'
"References? Well, I just got six references from the guys in your waiting room."
"We do have job security here, but only for the boss."