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"You say your biggest faults are working too hard and blind loyalty to your employer. What do you take me for… An idiot?"
Tags:fault, faults, weakness, weaknesses, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, interviewing, skill, skills, hire, hires, hired, hiring officer, hiring officers, employer, employers, kiss up, kisses up, kissing up, suck up, suck ups, sucking up, biggest fault, biggest weakness, greatest weakness, lie, lies, lying, impress, impresses, impressing, good impression, good impressions
"The salary is unimportant—I'll just siphon off what I need."
Tags:businesses, money, corrupt, corruption, corporate, corporation, executive, executives, human resources, hiring, hires, recruit, recruits, hired, embezzle, embezzled, embezzling, corporate culture, elite, elites, elitism, ethic, ethical, ethics, morals, morality, crime, criminal, criminals, human resource, human-resources, human-resource, corrupts, embezzlement
'We were ready to hire you until we saw the photo of you on Facebook sliding on the ice...'
"Miss Gaines, send in someone who reminds me of myself as a lad."
"What the hell? We could use an idiot."
Tags:idiot, idiots, hiring, hire, hires, hired, new guy, new guys, diversity, workplace diversity, diversity hire, diversity hires, positive discrimination, moron, morons, unqualified, incompetent, incompetence, application, applications, interview, interviews, interviewing, job interview, job interviews, worker, workers, working, colleague, colleagues, co-worker, co-workers
I'll do what everybody does–sell this startup just before we have to hire a female employee.
Tags:sexism, sexist, gamer, gamers, gaming, tech company, tech companies, startup, startups, start-up, start-ups, silicon valley, women in the workplace, geek, geeks, geeky, male-dominated, glass ceiling, glass ceilings, feminist, feminists, feminism, misogyny, misogynist, misogynists, positive discrimination, affirmative action, hire, hires, new hire, bro, bros, tech bro, tech bros, diversity, diversity hire, diversity hires, discriminate, discriminates, discriminating, discrimination
If we hired the same way we elect...
'I like your initiative. You've got the job.'
"We're looking for people to fire."
Tags:honest, honesty, honesty is the best policy, hire, hired, hiring, hires, personnel, hr, h r, h.r., h.r, human resources, business, big business, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, exec, execs, executive, manager, management, corporate, corporation, corporations, employment, employed, fire, fired, firing, office worker, office drone, office drones, excuse, excuses, interview, interviews, interview skills, capitalism, late stage capitalism, sardonic, sarcastic
'Students are influenced by television, video games, advertising, music, fashion, and their teachers. I'm looking to hire teachers that can reverse that order.'
"We only hire temps, and you have a look of permanence about you."
Tags:temp, temps, temp worker, temp workers, office temp, office temps, permanent, permanence, permanent job, permanent jobs, worker, workers, workplace, workplaces, corporation, corporations, corporate culture, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, big corporation, big corporations, uncaring, hire, hires, hiring
'Where's My Job'
Tags:world of work, new job, new hire, hiring, hires, recruiting, recruitment, recruiter, human resource, human resources, hr, h r, pun, puns, word play, word-play, play on words, waldo, wally, invisible, invisible homeless, homeless, hobo, bum, job, jobs, fired, fire, unemployment, unemployed, dole, on the dole, benefits, public benefit, public benefits, beg, begging, beggar, beggars, character, characters
Knowing that her doctorate in bio-physics made her profoundly overqualified for the job, Susan played dumb during the interview.
'Mom, we've hired a few people to fill in for you while you relax on Mother's Day.'
"It's not that I don't like the job you're doing—it's just that I'd like to start seeing other people do it."
Tags:honest, honesty, honesty is the best policy, hire, hired, hiring, hires, personnel, hr, h r, h.r., h.r, human resources, business, big business, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, exec, execs, executive, manager, management, corporate, corporation, corporations, employment, employed, fire, fired, firing, office worker, office drone, office drones, excuse, excuses, workplace, unfair, job, jobs, working world, world of work, capitalism, late stage capitalism, sardonic, sarcastic
"You seem like a bikini-briefs type. Frankly, I'm looking for boxer shorts."
"If somebody's listening to this conversation, I need a job."
'We give all our new hires these forms to fill out and a copy of our mission statement on converting to a paperless office.'
'Sure, it seems harmless, but you hire one human and the next thing you know, they're taking your job.'
"And, finally, are you now or have you ever been disgruntled?"
Tags:disgruntled, warning sign, warning signs, employee, employees, hire, hires, hiring, hiring officer, hiring officers, personnel, personnel department, paranoia, paranoid, mass shooting, mass shootings, shooting, shootings, postal, going postal, job satisfaction, worker satisfactions, satisfaction, human resources
"Why would anyone hire a barrister, anyone can talk...I'm taking on my own case just as soon as I finish this triple by-pass."
'Upper management still relies on resumes...boring!'
Think Tank, we are looking to hire 'free thinkers' because our budget has been cut.
"Can I call you back? I'm still recovering from a night of binge hiring."
Tags:binge, binges, bingeing, hire, hires, hiring, recruit, recruits, recruitment, new recruit, new recruits, late night, late nights, hiring officer, hiring officers, personnel, personnel department, hangover, hangovers, hung over, bad decision, bad decisions, making bad decisions, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, manager, managers, managing
The 'Biodiversity versus Jobs' debate, taken to its very likely conclusion.