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"And now I'd like you to join me in welcoming to the board Arne Savin from Morgan Stanley, Chet Bentson from Bankers Trust, and Tempest Dawn from 'Baywatch.'"
"That's not how we go about filling a C.E.O. position."
"We're a 'green' company. We only hire people with self-sustaining renewable energy."
"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."
'Got him on a contract basis. Helps to keep him on his toes.'
"Our standards are so high we only hire people who do crossword puzzles in ink."
"I'm just saying it's highly curious that no one at the senior manager level or above is a giant bug. That's all I'm saying."
"This is Professor Schvrtxvt from Ruritania -- he doesn't speak any English, but he sure is DIVERSE!"
"I have a good minority hiring record. they're the only ones who'll work for my low wages."
'Impressive client list, but tell me, are you willing to work on-site?'
"Yes, we can get you summer work, Mr. Claus...even at 1,700 years old we don't age discriminate."