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"Apparently your father tried to eat a chicken that was crossing the road."
"That bright light wasn't Heaven. It was a Chrysler."
"Two roads diverged in a wood and he tried to cross both of them."
'Get up from there! Are you trying to get me in trouble?'
"Figures...as soon as I start focusing on my future...I nearly get squashed by the present."
'I haven't been hit by a single car since I started wearing these.'