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'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'
"It's days like this that make me glad I became a teacher."
The leading cause of injury during the holidays: mouth lacerations from sharpened candy canes.
'I take it you're looking to some extra hours!'
"I understand that you've been demanding more vacation time. . . so we've decided to let you have the rest of your life off."
"Actually, I'm a government employee, and this stupid prison sentence is going to eat up most of my vacation time."