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"For extra protection, this one is armed with a tiny gun of its own."
Tags:gun, guns, gun owner, gun owners, second amendment, gun nut, gun nuts, 2nd amendment, gun store, gun stores, home protection, home security, pistol, pistols, firearm, firearms, rifle, rifles, handgun, handguns, security, protection, added protection, shooting, shootings, mass shooting, mass shootings
"We're pretty traditional around here. I handle everything on the domestic front except security."
Tags:guns, household, relationships, marriage, gun nut, gun nuts, firearm, firearms, gun owner, gun owners, assault rifle, assault rifles, old fashioned, traditional family, traditional families, american family, american families, gender role, gender roles, gender performance, gender performances, domestic front, domestic life, texas, texan, texans, assault weapon, assault weapons, home security, mankoff
"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."
Tags:vital link, vital links, homeland security, home security, security guard, security guards, security dog, security dogs, dog, dogs, guard dog, guard dogs, canine, canines, pet, pets, ego, egos, egotistical, egotist, egotists, big headed, big head, big heads, inflated opinion of yourself, department of homeland security
"It's a great old building, but I wish we had a more up-to-date security system."
Tags:security system, security systems, alarm system, alarm systems, security, defence, protection, drawbridge, drawbridges, suits of armour, suit of armour, knight, knights, home security, old building, old buildings, listed building, listed buildings, castle, castles, historical building, historical building, burglar proof, burglar proofing, burglar alarm, burglar alarms
"It's safe to open the door. They're singing Christmas-carol parodies."
"Artie, they took my bowl."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, personification, anthropomorphism, anthropomorphic, crimes, burglary, burglaries, robbery, robberies, home invasion, home invasions, mess, messy, tied, tied up, bound, rope, ropes, bowl, bowls, dog bowl, dog bowls, food bowl, food bowls, dish, dishes, dog dish, dog dishes, food dish, food dishes, priorities, priority, guard dog, guard dogs, useless, bad guard dog, bad guard dogs, useless guard dog, useless guard dogs, security, home security
"Hey, baby - that doesn't mean you!"
Tags:beware the dog, dog, dogs, canine, canines, pet, pets, pet dog, pet dogs, dog owner, dog owners, dog lover, dog lovers, home security, guard dog, guard dogs, dog lover, dog lovers, flirtation, flirtations, security dog, security dogs, come on, come ons, pick up, pick ups, pick-up, pick-ups, pickup, pickups, chat up, chat ups, chatting up, line, lines
"The terrorist barriers seem to be working."
"Before you come up, dear, don't forget to secure the perimeter."
Recipes for comfort drinks.
Tags:recipes, recipe, drink, drinks, comfort, comfort food, cozy, comforting, self care, self-care, drowning sorrows, stress, modern life, politics, difficult times, american politics, drown ones sorrows, alcohol, alcoholic, drink, drunk, emotional crutch, home security, national security, terrorism, threat, difficult times, terror, war on terror
"His roots are in the Cold War."
"The second camera records anyone trying to disable the first camera."
"You look nothing like you did through the peephole."
"Now, I would like to introduce Buster, who woke up one morning and decided he wasn't going to let a 'Beware of Dog' sign define him."
Tags:guard dog, guard dogs, home security, home securities, beware the dog, warning sign, warning signs, support group, support groups, therapy group, therapy groups, dog, dogs, canine, canines, identity crisis, identity crises, therapist, therapists, pup, pups, canine behaviour, canine behavior, dog behaviour, dog behavior
"I'd just like to know how these crazy rumors get started."
Death lets the killer in.
"Look, I forgot the password, okay?"
'Good evening sir,I'm doing a survey on home security.'
"You're our oldest and dearest friends, but we figured why take chances?"
The owner is motivated.
"I just installed a home security monitor."
"Well I vividly remember you saying that YOU were going to turn off the oven before we left Anchorage."
Tags:goose, geese, migrations, goose migration, geese migration, migration, bird, birds, winter migration, summer migration, absent minded, absent-minded, absent mindedness, absent-mindedness, chore, chores, home security, flying south, trip preparation, trip preparations, forgetful, forgetfulness, travel preparations
'Good evening!! I'm doing a survey on home security!!'
'They're good friends. Rogak has bitten them eighteen times and they haven't sued.'