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Upon review of the finish photo, race officials discovered cheating on the part of Turf King.
'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'
'Well this could be a problem.'
'Wait a minute...what do I win by winning this thing?'
"Come on, Lucky Lady!"
'Look Gloria its the Shetland Grand National!'
'Really? I'm a professional racer too...'
'How did it go at the track today, dear?'
"I got through just in time! I'm surprised you hadn't thought of it - I've just bet the maximum on every horse in the race to win and each way..."
"Just passed the post - sadly not first, but last in the previous race!"
'My dad's very kind to animals. Yesterday he put his shirt on a horse that was scratched.'
'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'
'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'
'The blooming thing took a wrong turn off the course.'
'Do you think he'll win the second race?' - 'Yes, because he's running in the first race.'
Speedy magic carpet.
'Don't put any money on him. I caught him betting on the favourite.'
'He failed the drugs test.'
'What he lacks in speed he gains in nose.'
Bob wondered why his odds had rocketed to 100-1.
'You can tell the age of a horse by the teeth...but who wants to bite a horse.'
'I've worked out why you keep getting beat y a short-half head.'
'Where are the jockey shorts?'