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'75% of our resources are taken up dealing with the aged and infirm...and that's just the staff!'
"I'm afraid you're retaining lawyers."
"I'd like some Ketamine for my appetizer. What opiate would you recommend for my entree?"
'This is an 'old person', or if you want to use the more technical term, a 'bedblocker'.'
"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."
"I take it you're trying to change the channel?"
'$375 a day, and there's no mint under the pillows?'
"Good news, Mrs. Bryant - I think we got it all."
'I told you this would happen if you kept leaving your clothes on the floor.'
'Rooms are $200 a day. Did you want nurses. . .? Bed. . .? Sheets. . .?'
"Here's a Get Well-or-Else card from the insurance company."
"It could be up to a week, but we do have loaners."
"Of course, it's a highly experimental procedure, but we're trying out new techniques from other disciplines all the time."
Tags:procedure, procedures, medical procedure, medical procedures, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, experiment, experiments, experimental, medication, medications, gas, gasoline, petrol, pump, pumps, fill her up, fill 'er up, service station, service stations, petrol station, petrol stations, trial, trials, trial clinic, trial clinics, technique, techniques, new technique, new techniques, hospital bed, hospital beds, hospitalized, hospitalization
'I'm not a visitor - just next in line for that bed when you've done with it.'
'Just remember I told you you'd be discharged really fast after surgery!'
"Not tonight, hon, I have a concussion."
"The lady in the bed across the hall would like to buy you a pain pill."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, hospital bed, hospital beds, patient, patients, nurse, health care, health care, health care costs, health care expenses, medical expenses, medical bill, medical bills, doctors bill, doctors bills, health insurance, insurance cover, patient, patients, ill health, pain pill, pain pills, painkiller, painkillers, buy you a drink, buy a drink, flirt, flirtatious, flirtation
'Are you feeling better, Mr. Global economy?'
"I've been under a lot of pressure to get well."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, hospital bed, hospital beds, patient, patients, get well, get well soon, under pressure, pressured, pressure, under a lot of pressure, well, ill, unwell, sick, health, ill health, health care, health care, health care costs, health care expenses, medical expenses, medical bill, medical bills, doctors bill, doctors bills
Tags:rollerskate, rollerskates, rollerskating, rollerblade, rollerblades, roller-blade, roller-blades, roller-skate, roller-skates, injury, injuries, sport injury, sports injury, sports injuries, sport injuries, broken leg, broken legs, broken bone, broken bones, traction, pulley, pulleys, hospital, hospitals, hospital bed, hospital beds
"Oh, and get rid of the plant!"
"Would you mind taking a look at this collection of my poems? Your opinion would mean a lot."
Tags:collection, collections, poem, poems, poetry, poet, poets, literary aspiration, literary aspirations, literary ambition, literary ambitions, hospital bed, hospital beds, feedback, feedbacks, literary feedback, literary critic, literary critics, doctor, doctors, bedside manner, unprofessional, patient, patients, patient care, patient-care, hospital treatment, hospital treatments
Man in hospital bed has two buttons: 1) Nurse 2) Lawyer
'Why, what's wrong with this Do you REALLY think it's more natural when it's the other way around'