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"I forgot. My brother Woolard is coming by."
Tags:visitor, visitors, guest, guests, house guest, house guests, unexpected guest, unexpected guests, brother, brothers, brother in law, brother in laws, brother-in-law, brother-in-laws, in law, in laws, in-law, in-laws, fright, frights, break in, break ins.break-in, break-ins, breaking and entering
'Wow, Geraldine, when you said you were redecorating with an outdoors motif I didn't think you meant this...'
"A coffee would be lovely."
"We've changed our minds. We do want to be a burden to you."
Tags:parent, parents, elderly parents, elderly parent, in laws, in-laws, moving in, burden, burdens, cliche, cliches, caring for parents, caring for elderly parents, change of mind, change of heart, surprise, surprises, unpleasant surprise, unpleasant surprises, house guest, house guests, unwelcome guest, unwelcome guests
"Love the exposed chessboard."
"Do they know we're rats?"
"Mommy and Daddy and their friends are pretending they don't have horrible lives now."
Tags:party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, kid, kids, child, childhood, toddler, toddlers, infant, infants, up late, bedtime, bedtimes, past bedtime, pretend, pretending, show-off, show off, showing-off, showing off, couple, couples, marriages, difficult relationship, diffiult relationships, relationships, pretence, guest, guests, house guest, house guests, middle class, middle class life, soccer mom, soccer moms, suburbia, suburban life, divorce, divorcing, divorced
"Don't tell the 'how-we-met' story."
"It's the peacock-removal guy."
"Carol, our guests are here, along with the complete L.L. Bean catalogue."
"They never showed up-they were the perfect guests."
A man walks into a house carrying a giant bomb
Tags:visiting, visitor, visitors, visit, visits, guest, guests, house guest, house guests, host, hosts, bomb, bombs, bombshell, bombshells, drop a bombshell, dropped a bombshell, unexpected announcement, unexpected announcements, unexpected news, announcement, announcements, news, visual pun, visual puns
"It's not much, but we've made it our own living hell."
"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."
'Come on in, Phil. I just moved in. Haven't even peed on anything yet.'
'I know it's your bed, but she's our guest. Sorry, sweetie, but you're going to have to sleep on the couch.'
'This is why I don't have you over more often.'
Beware of the Dog Hair.
'Oh no! I can't remember what I forgot to bring!'
'It's a guest tooth brush!!! You're not the only guest we've ever had, Dale!'
'Did you see Phil look at the clock and nod to Marmaduke to start yawning?'
'I wish you'd call when you're going to bring friends home.'
'What do you mean you 'don't like curry'?!!'
'Roger hates goodbyes.'
Punchline: Another weekend ruined by an unexpected houseguest.