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'Let's see... Ah! Here it is: 'Your policy does not cover floods,earthquakes or axe of god.' Sorry about that, Mr. Finkleman.'
'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'
"True, most accidents occur in the home. Rarely, however, do they involve two vehicles."
Tags:accident, accidents, accidental, cars, car, car accident, car accidents, driver, drivers, passenger, passengers, car crash, car crashes, vehicles, vehicle, crash, collision, collisions, pile-up, home, homes, insurance, house insurance, content insurance, police, policeman, police investigation, unusual events, unusual circumstances, unbelievable, rare, accident in the home, accidents in the home, odds
"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."
'Adjuster of the Year' reads a Sports Illustrated at his desk that has two boxes, 'Claims Denied' and 'Claims Paid.' The first has an over flowing stack of paper in it, the other a single sheet of paper.
'Is my homeowners policy covered for global warming?'
"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."
'Don't look at me!'
"No, having your gingerbread house eaten by kids isn't covered."
Three Little Pigs Insurance Scam.
'Sorry boys, we can't help you...your policy covers beanstalks, wicked old witches and jolly green giants - but not big bad wolves.'
"Business really improves when they play a disaster movie."
"This is a fine time to remember you forgot to pay our homeowner's insurance!"
'I'm sorry, but when you took out the policy, you never specified that it was a mobile home.'
'Mr. Dumont, I'm sure you can understand our reluctance to sell flood insurance to anyone who says they're from a town called 'High River'.'
"Can I interest you in our anti huff and puff damage policy?"
'Well, stop watching him if it makes you stress over flood insurance.'
'Okay,but should you change your mind sir, here's my card.' Farbuckle House Fire Insurance
'The premium is on the high side, but this policy allows you unlimited 'Nibbling Children' claims.'
"I'm afraid your homeowner's policy doesn't cover your house being blown down."
'Your house was blown off by a big bad wolf hey?! It looks very much like an insurance scam to me!...'
'Insure your desert island for as little as.....'
'Oh drat. I forgot to mail in this month's house insurance payment.'
'What do you mean this isn't covered by my house insurance?'
'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'