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'Bill, in the country it's a CELLAR not a BASEMENT! I won't come down 'til you use the proper term.'
"No, this is not the plumber. This is his chauffeur."
'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'
"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"
'I'm sorry, Ma'am, but we don't do bridal showers.'
"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."
'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'
'When did you get a ceiling fan?'
'Thank goodness you got here in time. Frank was going to start without you.'
'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'
'Take me to your lawyer.'
'And have you reported the dampness in your home?'