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"The Graysons are on vacation in Europe. I'm the sitter."
"And, while I'm away, you'll be in the good hands of my oversight committee."
Tags:oversight, oversights, oversight committee, oversight committees, absence, absences, long absence, long absences, mother, mothers, mom, moms, mum, mums, head of household, heads of household, household, households, husband, husbands, useless, uselessness, house sitter, house sitters, house sitting, trip, trips, long trip, long trips, supervisor, supervisors, supervision
"And that's when they left for vacation!"
Tags:junk drawer, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, houseplant, houseplants, scary story, scary stories, green thumb, green thumbs, brown thumb, brown thumbs, campfire, campfire story, campfire stories, gardener, gardeners, gardening, care, cares, carer, carers, housesitter, housesitters, housesitting, house sitter, house sitters, house sitting, die, dies, dying, house plant, house plants
"I'm going away for the weekend. Would you mind feeding my husband?"
"I can tell it's new because it's alive."
Tags:houseplant, house plant, plant, plants, green thumb, green thumbs, water, waters, watering, house sitter, house sitters, house sitting, housesitter, housesitters, housesitting, garden, gardens, gardener, gardeners, gardening, brown thumb, plant care, home economics, homemaker, homemakers, tlc, rubber plant, fake plant, fake plants, plastic, care, caring, plant care, plantcare
Although in hindsight, maybe she said feed the cat and water the plants.
"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, feline, felines, cat owner, cat owners, cat lady, cat ladies, houseplant, houseplants, plant, plants, flower, flowers, gardener, gardeners, gardening, garden, gardens, babysitting, babysitter, babysitters, house sitting, house sitter, house sitters, favour, favours, favor, favors, pet sitting, pet sitter, pet sitters
"He's co-dependant, I usually board him, but the conference is only three days. Just make sure to let him out from nine to five to do his business. Oh – and treats are in the liquor cabinet."
"Thank God we were only house-sitting."
'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'
Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fives on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.
Tags:house sitting, house sitter, house sitters, housesitting, housesitter, housesitters, plants, plant lovers, plant lover, house plants, house plant, water the plants, water, watering, high five, high-five, high fives, high-fives, instruction, instructions, hydrangeas, hydrangea, bromeliad, bromeliads, florist, florists, houseplant, houseplants, care, green thumb, green thumbs, brown thumb, brown thumbs, anxiety, anxiety issues, self-esteem, self worth
"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."
"I have the whole universe to look after, so I'm putting you in charge of this planet."
Tags:heaven, god, in charge, earth, stupid, whole universe, sons, idiots, planets, incompetents, incompetent, planet, universes, delegate, delegates, son, caretaker, caretakers, responsible, responsibility, irresponsible, son, house sit, house sits, house sitter, house sitters, earth, planet earth, dominion, nepotism
Thanks for house sitting!
Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.
Tags:house sitter, house sitters, house sitting, plant, plants, houseplant, houseplants, house plant, house plants, instructions, water, waters, watering, hydrangea, hydrangeas, bromeliad, bromeliads, sensitive, sensitivity, oversensitive, oversensitivity, hypersensitive, hypersensitivity, high five, high vies, low five, low fives, children's game, children's game, prank, pranks, pranking, prankster, pranksters, shut down, shuts down, shutting down
'Suprisingly, my ad for basement sitting hasn't gotten any response.'
'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'
'My client prefers to be tried in abstentia.'
'Honey, didn't you promise to water the Harris's plants while they were away?'
"Baldo, thank you for house-sitting while I'm away. One thing...I have photos of my abuelos in the hallway. Please keep them entertained. They get lonely when I'm away."
"Why did they hire a dog sitter? I can sit on my own."
"House sitting for Tia Zulema is sooooo boring! Everything here is ancient!"
"Baldo, do you want to house-sit for your Tia Zulema? She's leaving town 'til Friday?"