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"We look for people who can quickly adapt to changes in the workplace."
'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'
'That's true. We did advertise for someone who 'works well under pressure'...'
'Right we need an urgent response to our productivity problems...'
'HR says we should be looking for a little fresh blood any idea what they're talking about?'
'John this is where you should declare your undying love and tell Miriam she's the wind beneath your wings...'
'He's worried that the 20% that changes is the only 20% he knows!'
'For some strange reason personnel want us to review our equal opportunities employment policies!'
'We're looking for managers that demonstrate high levels of emotional intelligence. Here, please try on this mood ring.'
'I'm afraid you'll have to work late tonight, I want you to attend this talk on work-life balance.'
'In five year's time?... I see myself on that side of the desk telling you it's a great shame, thanks for all your hard work, but I'm going to have to let you go!'
Personnel: 'Next question, what was the reason for leaving your last job?' Reply: 'I got sick of being questioned about everything I did!'
'Mentoring requires many sophisticates qualities and skills...'
'Having done the mentoring skills questionnaire I think I need a mentor to mentor me in improving my mentoring.'
"Besides caring too much? I'd probably have to go with Kryptonite."
Tags:superhero, superheroes, hero, heros, job interview, recruit, new recruit, recruiter, recruiting, potential employee, new employee, hire, hiring, human resources, hr, career, careers, job, jobs, work, employment, employer, weakness, what is your weakness, kryptonite, job search, job hunting, weaknesses
"You just self-deprecated yourself right out of a job."
Tags:job interview, job interviews, personnel, hr, human resources, self-deprecation, self deprecation, self-deprecated, self deprecated, fire, fires, fired, firing, performance review, performance appraisal, job appraisal, job review, personality type, personality types, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, modest, modesty, loser, losers, lose out, loses out, losing out, miss out, misses out, missing out
"I'm proud of that resumé but I'm sensing 'stickler for the truth'."
Tags:resume, resumes, cv, hr, human resources, personnel, job interview, job interviews, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, dishonest, dishonesty, stickler, sticklers, truth, truthness, honest, honesty, honestness, lie, lies, liar, liars, deception, deceptions, white lie, fib, fibs, white lies
"I've got some skills - I'm just not sure they add up to a 'set.'"
'Is it my imagination or are entrepreneurs getting younger.'
How to tell it's still an employer's job market...
"It's a fine résumé, but the best I can offer you right now is a cameo in accounting."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, hiring, hr, h.r., human resources, recruiting, recruiter, recruiters, recruitment, interview, interviews, job, jobs, position, positions, candidate, candidates, applicant, applicants, prospective, employee, employees, employment, unemployment, work, resume, resumes, cv, c.v., curriculum vitae, movie, movies, film, films, studio, studios, cameo, cameos, role, roles, accounting, best, agent, agents, agency, agencies, actor, actors, acting, talent, modern life
"We're replacing you with an abacus. So sorry."
Tags:firing, fired, unemployment, termination, downsizing, laid off, lay offs, replacing, replacement, replacements, abacus, technology, computer, computers, human, humans, master, masters, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, employee, employees, worker, workers, student, students, office, offices, office life, asia, asian, asians
"You seem reasonably fit - have you ever pulled a rickshaw?"