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"Well, I'm a little bit sleepy now, so that concludes our broadcast day."
'...and who puts up your sandwiches - her Majesty?'
'This is some good stuff you 'knocked-off'... where did you say you acquired it?'
"But I've already paid for four weddings and a funeral"
Queen Elizabeth II
'I hereby declare this building closed'
After the couple marry, Mrs Bowles will take the title HRH Duchess of Cornwall, but will have to hop behind Charles on one leg covered in a sheet chanting Goon songs.
Lost and found - 'Can you desribe it?' (Queen being asked having lost her crown).
'Two, four, six, eight, I don't want to abdicate!'
'That's not the moat you hear - you forgot to jiggle the handle again.'