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'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'
"You'll see, this is going to cause real trouble."
"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."
Tags:kid, kids, children, child, television, televisions, television show, television shows, television program, television programs, television programmes, television programmes, tv, tvs, tv show, tv shows, tv program, tv programs, tv programmes, tv programmes, t.v., t.v.s, t.v. show, t.v. shows, t.v. program, t.v. programs, t.v. programme, t.v. programmes, watching t.v., watching tv, watching television, animal, animals, human, humans, being human, manners, social norms, etiquette, respect, values, character, characters, mascot, mascots, morals, ethics, beliefs, attitudes, humanity
"Yuck! Look at all planet lice down there!"
Tags:alien, aliens, spaceship, spaceships, space ship, space ships, planet, planets, ufo, ufos, u.f.o.s, u.f.o., unidentified flying object, unidentified flying objects, flying saucer, flying saucers, beach, beaches, beach scene, beach scenes, seashore, seaside, beach-goer, beach-goers, human, humans, human being, human beings, people, lice, earth, planet earth, yuck, gross, pest, pests, science fiction, sci-fi
"We're replacing you with an abacus. So sorry."
Tags:firing, fired, unemployment, termination, downsizing, laid off, lay offs, replacing, replacement, replacements, abacus, technology, computer, computers, human, humans, master, masters, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, employee, employees, worker, workers, student, students, office, offices, office life, asia, asian, asians
"As far as I'm concerned, we didn't get out a moment too soon."
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, heaven, angel, angels, earth, planet earth, humanity, humans, environmental destruction, natural disaster, natural disasters, global warming, climate change, deforestation, rising sea levels, war, wars, fighting, politics, poverty, hunger, starvation, disease, pollution, social problems, social issues, social ills, not a moment too soon, escaped, no regrets, good timing
"You won't see a more naturally gifted skater."
Tags:dna, genetic, genetics, science, sciences, natural science, scientist, scientists, scientific, scientifically, biology, biological, human biology, genome, human, humans, mankind, ice skate, ice skates, ice skating, ice, on ice, skating, skate, skates, figure skating, figure skater, figure skaters, natural, naturally, organic, organics, helix, quadruple, triple, jump, toe loop, spiral, spin, twist, spin, sport, sports, winter sports, winter, professional sport
"Don't make me come down there!"
Tags:god, heaven, godly, threat, threats, threaten, threatens, threatening, parent, parents, parenting, discipline, disciplines, disciplinarian, disciplinarians, misbehave, misbehaves, misbehaving, misbehavior, misbehaviour, earth, humans, humanity, war, wars, warring, sins, sinning, sinful, father, fathers, dad, dads
"If you prick a corporation, does it not bleed? If you tickle it, does it not laugh? If you poison it, does it not die?"
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, legal, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, supreme court, scotus, s.c.o.t.u.s, supreme court of the united states, united states, us, u.s., united states of america, usa, u.s.a., america, government, governments, politics, business, money, finance, finances, personhood, corporate personhood, human, humans, corporation, corporations, corporate, prick, bleed, laugh, poison, die, expression, expressions, word play, wordplay, shakespeare, william shakespeare, literature, play, plays, merchant of venice, quote, quotes, theatre, theatres, theater, theaters
"I'm beginning to think I need a three-million-year sabbatical from humankind to recover my health."
Tags:sabbatical, sabbaticals, break, breaks, take a break, takes a break, taking a break, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, humankind, mankind, human, humans, climate change, global warming, environmental catastrophe, environmental catastrophes, global catastrophe, environmental disaster, environmental disasters, disaster, disasters, unhealthy, conservation, conservationist, conservationists, environmentalist, environmentalism, environmentalists, recover, recovers, recovery, recovery period, recovery periods, lie fallow, lay fallow, lying fallow, recharge, recharges, recharging
"I'm a little disappointed that we didn't get any human specimens, but I think our leaders will be quite pleased with the snow globe and the commemorative spoon."
Tags:alien, aliens, science fiction, alien abduction, alien abductions, space travel, outer space, space, travelling, traveling, tourist, tourists, tourism, souvenir, souvenirs, snowglobe, snowglobes, snow globe, snow globes, commemorative spoon, commemorative spoons, spoon, spoons, earth, planet earth, human, humans, specimen, specimens, leader, leaders, disappointing, disappointed, disappointment, pleased, happy, spaceship, spaceships, souvenir shopping
"You have a club—use it."
Tags:evolution, evolve, evolved, evolves, legs, leg, land, science, scientific, sciences, biology, biological, darwin, darwinism, darwinian, theory of evolution, evolutionary theory, science, scientific, scientist, scientists, scientifically, prehistoric, pre historic, pre-historic, pre-history, cycle, cycles, human, humans, cyclical, club, clubbed, businessman, businessmen
Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing
Tags:evolution, evolve, evolved, evolves, legs, leg, land, science, scientific, sciences, biology, biological, darwin, darwinism, darwinian, theory of evolution, evolutionary theory, science, scientific, scientist, scientists, scientifically, prehistoric, pre historic, pre-historic, pre-history, fishing, fish, fishery, fishes, interrupt, interruption, break the cycle, cycle, cycles, human, humans, human greed, greed, meddle, meddled, meddling
Casting a Wide Net
Tags:campaign, government, politics, speeches, science, space, campaign speech, campaign speeches, political campaign, political campaigns, politically correct, political correctness, alienate, alienates, inclusive, inclusiveness, wide net, wide nets, earthling, earthlings, human, humans, all-inclusive, inclusive language, mankoff
"But can they save themselves?"
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, whale, whales, campaign, campaigns, save, protect, protection, nature, environment, environmental, environmental destruction, human, humans, human being, human beings, the human race, destruction, destroy, depletion, endangered, endangered species, going extinct, planet earth, earth
Large man in a bathtub staring at a tiny man on a tiny desert island floating in the bathtub
Tags:bath, baths, bathtime, bath time, bath tub, bath tubs, bathtub, bathtubs, taking a bath, bathing, washing, bather, bathers, island, islands, desert island, desert islands, castaway, castaways, tiny person, tiny people, tiny human, tiny humans, human, humans, person, people, small, miniature, large, big, giant, giants, staring, looking, unusual, strange, visual joke, visual jokes, visual gag, visual gags
Instant human... just add coffee
"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."
Tags:dog, dogs, puppy, puppies, dog lover, dog lovers, dog owner, dog owners, pets, talking dogs, talking dog, talking pet, dog tricks, tricks, beg and roll over, dog training, if dogs could talk, points of view, view point, dogs perspective, perspective, perspectives, humans, human, mankind, anthropomorphism, anthropomorphic
"I say bring them into the process while we still can."
Tags:neanderthal, primate, primates, people, human, humans, mankind, man, cavemen, caveman, cave dweller, cave dwellers, cro-magnon, cro-magnons, homo sapiens, history, historians, historian, evolution, change, biology, biologist, biologists, biological change, generations, generational change, science, scientist, scientists, theory, theories, darwin, charles
"I understand at one time the Earth wasn't at all like the Moon."
Tags:space, outer space, astronaut, astronauts, space travel, space traveller, space travellers, space traveler, space travelers, planet, planets, planet earth, earth, moon, moons, climate change, global warming, environmental destruction, pollution, humanity, human, humans, destruction, destroyed, nature, environment, apocalypse, extinction, sci-fi, science-fiction, science
"I'm trying to eat more locals."
Tags:animal, animals, taking animal, talking animals, shark, sharks, underwater, food, shark attack, shark attacks, local, locals, human, humans, people, ocean, sea, organic, health, healthy eating, eating healthy, healthy diet, diet, diets, eating habits, local produce, eating locally, word play, wordplay
"All dogs go to Heaven, because we're not the ones who screwed up."
'Assuming present trends continue, the odds are quite good that we'll become the best-informed extinct species on the planet!'
"I'm not asking for a raise. All I'm asking for is a little warmth and human understanding."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, employee, employees, worker, workers, raise, raises, salary, warmth, understanding, human, humans, humanity, compassion, kindness, generosity, interpersonal, relationship, relationships, white collar, corporate, request, requests, requesting
"When I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us."