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"You weren't looking for humor, but humor found you."
"Very amusing, Robertson, if I were the type to be amused."
"Doctor! My husband says he thinks my funny bone is broken. Do I need to have it plastered?"
Help the Humorless
"I was indulging in levity, and Mr. Merkel made me leave the room."
"As a company, and as individuals, we are without irony. Will that bother you?"
'I hate a comedian. . . And I hate being corrected!'
'I'm sure there's a place for humor in this world, but I've never discovered where that is.'
'It never ceases to amaze me how your obscenely high annual bonus helps cancel out your being a stuck-up, humourless, self-indulgent bore.'
"Oh, come on. If it had happened to me you'd've laughed too."
"Gracie, I don't know any jokes...but I know funny stories!"
"Apparently, the new boss isn't exactly a barrel of laughs."