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"How about one more round of 'God Bless America' before we bring out the naked broads."
Tags:patriotic song, patriotic songs, patriot, patriots, patriotic, patriot music, burlesque show, burlesque shows, burlesque, strip show, strip shows, strip club, strip clubs, hypocrite, hypocrites, hypocrisy, sexist, sexists, hymn, hymns, christian music, christian morals, christian morals, christianity, moral compass, morality
"So, are we singing from the same hymnbook?"
"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."
"The Lord moves in mysterious ways."
Tags:god, gods, lord, the lord, moves in mysterious ways, works in mysterious ways, god moves in mysterious ways, the lord moves in mysterious ways, sales, selling, house, housing, property, properties, housing market, property market, market, hymn, hymns, mystery, mysterious, refund, refunds, return, policy, return policy, sell, all sales final, religion, religious, christian, christianity, advertising, advert, adverts, advert, real estate, real estates, the father
'You're not what we hand in mind when we advertised for a new organist.'
'Page 37 in your hymnals and selection #15 on your iPods.'
"God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform."
'So Lenny, still fighting the good fight?'
"Okay, who's singing 'How great thou Arrrrrrrrt?"
"I have a feeling the preacher isn't well prepared this morning."
Tags:pastor, pastors, preacher, preachers, preaches, preaching, church, prepares, preparing, prepared, preparation, churches, christian, christians, christianity, god, jesus, sermon, sermons, teaching, teachings, hymn, hymns, note, notes, guide, guides, organise, organises, organised, organize, organizes, organized, priest, priests
"He's very busy. One 'Good King Wenceslas', and then about you go."
Tags:christmas, christmas time, x-mas, x-mas time, noel, carol, carols, carol singer, carol singers, assistant, assistants, assisting, busy, busy-body, busy-bodies, wenceslas, good king wenceslas, verse, verses, favourite, favourites, long, long song, interrupt, interrupting, interruption, charity collection, charity collections, choir, choirs, hymn, hymns
'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'
Women's Rights Gone Amuck...
Tags:hymns, hymn, feminism, feminist, feminists, protest, protests, women's rights, womens rights, movement, movements, churches, vicar, vicars, church, women rights, religion, faith, god, singing, choir, praise, praise and worship, reynolds unwrapped, sexist, sexists, sexist society, chauvinist society
'Everyone in favor of buying cooler choir robes for the summer, sing hallelujah!'
'I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away...'
'He wasn't well-liked. We're having 'If You're Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands' sung at the service.'
"What d'you say we try sneaking out before the last one?"
No one remembers Gottlieb Much, runner-up in the 1738 season of 'The Hymn Factor'.
"If she has the voice of an angel I sure hope the others drown her out."
Tags:choir, choirs, hymn, hymns, church music, church, churches, voice of an angel, angel, angels, angelic, angelic choir, angelic choirs, angelic voice, singing voice, singing voices, congregation, congregations, sermon, sermons, choir practice, choir practices, singer, singers, heavenly choir, heavenly choirs
"Let us sing Hymn 564 which, incidentally, has recently been sampled for use in a popular bladder-control commercial."
"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."
Tags:praise team, praise teams, lead guitarist, lead guitarists, spiritual guidance, spiritual guidances, priest, priests, minister, ministers, vicar, vicars, religious leader, religious leaders, spiritual, hymn, hymns, church music, church band, church bands, choir, choirs, divine inspiration, divine inspirations
'Any requests? 'Amazing Grace,' perhaps?'
Tags:organ, organs, keyboard, keyboards, keyboarder, keyboarders, piano, pianos, request, requests, requesting, requested, amazing grace, limit, limited, limits, limiting, church, churches, christian music, church music, hymn, hymns, song, songs, repetitive, repeat, repeats, repeating, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"These choir robes are so hot, I'm glad I went commando."
'The pipe organ costs a hundred and ten thousand. Four music stands for Ed's Gospel Quartet, eighty five fifty. Discussion.'