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"We're running a little behind, so I'd like each of you to ask yourself, 'Am I really that sick, or would I just be wasting the doctor' valuable time?'"
'I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead but I came in for a second opinion.'
"Your's may be a case of hypochondria so I'm going to refer you to an imaginary colleague."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, mental healthy, psychology, hypochondria, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, imagination, imaginary, referral, referrals, specialist, specialists, referring
'I've already diagnosed myself on the web but I thought I'd come in for a second opinion.'
John W. Wilson 1949-2009 - Forgot to ask his doctor everything he wanted to ask him.
Tags:doctor, doctors, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, forget, forgets, forgetting, forgot, forgotten, absentminded, absentmindedness, absent-minded, absent-mindedness, disease, diseases, diseased, tombstone, tombstones, epitaph, epitaphs, headstone, headstones, fatal error, fatal errors, fatal mistake, fatal mistakes, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, hypochondria, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, illness, illnesses, gravestone, gravestones, cause of death, diagnosis, prognosis, concern, concerns, concerned
"Yep - peanut-free, Ebola-free, gluten-free. That'll be $74."
Tags:ebola, peanut, peanut allergy, peanut allergies, nut allergy, nut allergies, food allergy, food allergies, gluten allergy, gluten allergies, hypochondria, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, pizza, pizzas, pizza delivery, pizza deliveries, takeaway, takeaways, take-away, take-aways, fussy eater, fussy eaters, picky eater, picky eaters
Providing Healthcare For All
'I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I've either got...'
Health MOT's will attract 'worried well'
"Your doctor says it's all in your mind and that you're a hypochondriac? It's a good thing we caught this when we did."
Tags:medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, hypochondria, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, malpractice, medical malpractice, lawsuit, lawsuits, litigation, suing, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, unethical, greedy, greed
"O.K. Which one of you worried well is the most worried?"
Tags:nurse, doctor’s office, waiting room, neuroses, worried well, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, hypochondria, worrier, worriers, neurosis, disease, diseases, ill, illness, illnesses, priority, priorities, prioritize, prioritizing, important, importance, waiting rooms, wait, waits, waiting, medical care, healthcare, mankoff
Dial 123-SICK and Reach Out to Your Fellow-Hypochondriacs
"I'm warning you, I have a cold!"
Tags:cold, colds, influenza, knife crime, knife crimes, contagion, contagions, contagious, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, flu, germ, germs, contagious disease, contagious diseases, street crime, street crimes, thug, thugs, mugger, muggers, intimidation, germophobe, germophobes, germophobic, germophobics, germophobia, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, hypochondria
"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."
"Perhaps you'd care for a home medical encyclopedia that is a little less specific, sir."
Tags:encyclopedia, encyclopedias, home encyclopedia, salesman, salesmen, salesperson, salespeople, door-to-door, sell, sells, selling, seller, sellers, medical, medical encyclopedia, symptom, symptoms, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, hypochondria, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, look up, looks up, looking up, reassure, reassures, reassuring, reassurance, reassurances
'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'
"I'm very impressed with your web research,this self-diagnosis would be 100% accurate...if you were a Patagonian fruit bat!"
NHS Confederation suggests that patients be allowed to register with A&E departments..."Can someone help me I've got a bit of a cough!"
Doctor, I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead. Don't believe everything you read on the net.
New Dread: the magazine of undiscovered fears
Tags:dread, dreading, new dread, fear, fears, fearmongering, fear mongering, fear-mongering, scare mongering, scaremongering, scare-mongering, mongering, monger, mongers, fake, fake news, hypochondria, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, phobias, phobia, phobic, benign, every day, everyday, modern, modern life, media, manipulation, manipulate, manipulated, manipulation, populace control, magazine, magazines
"Your test results are perfect and there is nothing wrong with you. We will operate on you for it tomorrow."
'Did you cut your lip shaving or is the bandage across your mouth evidence you want to listen to me?'
'That's our safety director. He takes safety very seriously.'
'I have good news and bad news. The good news, you're not a hypochondriac...'