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"I've written my diagnosis on this piece of paper. I'm going to slide it over to you, and I want you to tell me if you're interested."
"I had that, only worse."
'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'
'I'm feeling GREAT but I'm worried that might just be a SYMPTOM!'
'Our guest speaker called in sick.'
A nurse refuses to hand deliver a meal to a man with a contagious disease.
'The bad news is you have developed an allergy to placebos. The good news is I've cured your hypochondria!'