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"Great news, Phil! The governor has determined that you don't have a high enough I.Q. to merit execution."
Tags:execution, executions, death penalty, the death penalty, electric chair, the electric chair, lethal injection, lethal injections, death row, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, crimes, criminal, criminals, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, death row lawyer, death row lawyers, capital punishment, low iq, iq, incompetent, incompetence, temporary insanity, temporarily insane, legal system, the legal system, illogical, irrational, insanity defense, insanity defence, defense lawyer, defence lawyers, defense lawyers, defence lawyers, criminal prosecution
"You'll come here,but you won't go to Brooklyn?"
Tags:taxi, taxis, cab, cabs, space, moon, moons, astronaut, astronauts, brooklyn, new york, new york cabs, inconvenient, illogical, sensible, no sense, distance, distances, big cheese, taxi cab, ridiculous, unfair, relatable, annoy, annoying, annoys, annoyed, drive, driver, taxi driver, taxi drivers, unreasonable
Tags:logic, logic tree, logic trees, tree, trees, logical, illogical, illogic, organizational tool, organizational tools, organisational tool, organisational tools, problem solving, problem solving tool, problem solving tools, issue tree, issue trees, logic tree analysis, dead tree, tree trunk, tree trunks
"I need to pee but I'm afraid to go alone."
Tags:family life, family-life, family time, parenthood, parenting, parent, parents, toilet, toilets, phobia, phobias, fear, fears, kid, kids, childhood, childhoods, bathroom, bathrooms, childish, logic, illogical, child logic, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, irrational fear, irrational fears
"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."
Tags:fit, fitness, nutrition, nutrition bar, nutrition bars, health food, health foods, healthy food, for her, misogyny, misogynist, misogynists, for women, modern life, modern time, modern attitudes, gender issues, gender issue, gender inequality, brand, brands, branding, packaging, packages, package, illogical, stupid, stupidity, narrow minded, close minded, ignorant, ignorance, sales tactic, sales tactics, toxic masculinity
"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."
Tags:insure, insurance, insuring, insurance purposes, self serving, self-serving, business, businesses, corporate culture, corporate-culture, force, forced purchase, unfair, government, executive, executives, governments, health insurance, mandatory, jargon, cliche, purposeless, circular, illogical, management, managing, managers, manager, interest, interests, authoritarian
"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."
"Look, don't try to weasel out of this. It was my dream, but you had the affair in it."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, infidelity, cheater, cheaters, extramarital affairs, affair, affairs, dream, dreams, dreaming, excuse, excuses, illogical, unreasonable, woman, women
Not an Entrance/Not An Exit
Tags:exit, exits, entrance, entrances, logic, logical, illogical, door, doors, entrance door, exit door, exit doors, entrance doors, department, departments, logical thinker, logical thinkers, logical thinking, philosophy, philosophy teacher, philosophy teachers, philosophical, teacher, teachers, logic problem, logic problems, puzzle, puzzles, puzzling, door, doors, logician, lawyer, lawyers, legalese, lawyerese, interpret, interpretation, interpretations, confusing, confusion
The NRA actively endangered the President's life last week at their annual conference.
"We study, we plan, we research. And yet, somehow, money still remains more of an art than a science."
"I'm Miss Missouri, but my goal is to become Miss California."
Tags:beauty, beautiful, pageant, pageants, beauty pageant, beauty pageants, miss missouri, miss california, miss, state, states, competition, competitions, aspiration, aspiration, dream, dreams, goal, goals, aim, aims, impossible, nonsensical, illogical, paradox, paradoxical, senseless, outlandish, ridiculous, stupid, unintelligent, resident, residents, missouri, california
"We've decided to express our concern for the environment by redecorating."
Tags:environment, concern, concerned, concerns, global warming, rich, aristocrat, aristocrats, aristocracy, coffee, afternoon tea, redecorate, redecorates, redecorating, interior design, interior designers, express, expressing, counter-intuitive, gossip, gossips, gossiping, illogical, nonsensical, unenvironmentally friendly, contradict, contradiction, contradictory, excuse, reason, reasoning, reasonable
"That's just great. I discover the cure for the common cold and all you can do is criticize."
Tags:scientist, scientists, lab, laboratory, science, scientific, scientific discovery, medicine, medication, medications, unconventional, unorthodox, inconvenient, illogical, big medicine, big pill to swallow, large pill to swallow, cure, common cold, criticize, criticise, critical, judgement, invent, invention, inventions, mad, angry, anger, angered
"Hey you, stop!"
"And could I have a small diet soda please."
Tags:fashions, mens fashion, mens fashions, men's fashion, men's fashions, tie, ties, necktie, neckties, suit, suits, modern life, impracticable, impracticality, tie roll, tie rolls, first world problems, business wear, business dress, business attire, neck tie, neck ties, illogical, storage, storage solution, storage solutions, tie roller case, tie roller cases, fault, faulty
'My personalities are threatening to split.'
Tags:senseless, absurd, dumb, statements, statement, illogical, dry humour, dry humor, medical, therapy, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychotherapy, counselling, counselor, communication, personalities, multiple personality disorder, multiple personalities, multiple, personality, mental disorder, shrink
'....I read somewhere that consuming raw flesh could be bad for your health. And given our current state of decomposition, this may not be such a good idea.'
Tags:illogical, justify, justified, unjustified, zombie, zombies, against your nature, undead, living and dead, death, decomposition, healthcare, nutrition, health choices, horror, health, panic, medical, knowledge, knowledgeable, informed, choices, decisions, silly, healthy eating, healthy living, zombie apocalypse, zombie apocalypses, health food, junk food, junk foods
"Since I don't have a family, I pretty much use it to protect my other guns."
Tags:gun, guns, rifle, rifles, assault rifle, assault rifles, assault-rifle, assault-rifles, protect, protection, family, families, security, secure, second amendment, 2nd amendment, bill of rights, gun control, gun-control, gun regulation, gun regulations, self-defense, self defense, defending, protects, circular, illogical
"I predict that men's fashions will remain relatively stable throughout the next century and a half, whereas women's will evolve continuously, and with the speed and illogic of a juiced-up tribe of rampaging Darwinian monkeys."
Tags:fashion, clothes, clothing, menswear, men's fashion, men's clothing, men's clothes, womenswear, women's fashion, women's clothing, women's clothes, stable, stability, evolution, evolutionism, darwin's theory of evolution, evolutionary theory, rampage, animal, animals, monkey, monkeys, darwinian, speed, fast, rapid, quick, illogic, illogical, strange, predict, predicting, prediction, predictions, future, style, styles, trend, trends, trendy, fad, fads, history, historical, victorian
"Are you telling me that just because something is against the law, that makes it illegal?"
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, against the law, legal, client, clients, defendant, defendants, defence, deense, logic, illogical, logical, guilt, guilty, word play, wordplay, confused, confusion, confusing
"The January issue comes out in October, the April issue comes out in January, the July issue comes out in April, and October issue comes out in July, but I don't have any of them."
Tags:modern world, modern-world, modern life, modern-life, issue, issues, magazine, magazines, zines, zine, newspaper, newspapers, time, timing, times, nonsensical, stupid, illogical, news papers, news paper, paper, papers, periodicals, prepare, prepared, preparing, prepared, newstand, news stand, newsstand, selling, sales, sold, pointless, disappointed, disappointment
'I've never been superstitious...touch wood'