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"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."
"By the time we got there, all we wanted to do was raid their kitchen."
Tags:knight, knights, soldier, soldiers, army, cavalry, horse, horses, armour, armor, commander, commander, captain, captains, spear, spears, weapon, weapons, stab, impale, medieval, history, raid, pillage, plunder, attack, kitchen, kitchens, food, eat, eating, steal, stole, stolen, hunger, hungry, starve, starving
"I think I speak for all of us."
"Bring me something impaled on a tusk."
"I'm all for taking away the darts and giving him back his car keys."
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, bartender, bartenders, server, servers, patron, patrons, customer, customers, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, drunk, impaired, tipsy, inebriated, dart, darts, sport, sports, game, games, throwing darts, impale, stab, impaled, stabbed, stuck, car key, car keys, give back, dangerous, bad idea, bad ideas, complaint, complaints, complaining, complain, out of control, out-of-control
'Well, so much for Plan 'A'.'
"I take it they didn't care for any of your ideas."
Tags:idea, ideas, care, cares, cared, caring, rejected, reject, rejects, rejecting, laughing stock, ridicule, ridiculed, ridiculing, ridicules, arrow, arrows, archer, archers, sports manager, sports managers, sports agent, sports agents, impale, impaled, impaling, impales, shower of arrows, archery, stubborn, stubbornness, incompetent, incompetence, unprofessional, bad sportsmanship
'No broken bones. You're lucky, looks like the tree helped break your fall.'
Why Vikings Didn't Have Many Graduation Ceremonies.
Shark cage offers no protection from a swordfish.
Tags:shark cage, shark cages, sword fish, swordfish, stab, stabs, stabbing, stabbed, diver, divers, scuba, scuba diver, scuba divers, inadequate protection, protect, protects, protecting, cage, cages, protection, protected, diving, dive, dives, deep sea, shark, sharks, dangerous, danger, dangers, impale, impales, impaling, impaled
"Master, Rex wants to know if you're through playing with his stick."
"C'mon, Luke-this is no time for prop comedy."
Tags:cowboy, cowboys, bow and arrow, bow + arrow, shot, shoots, shooting, head, heads, impale, impaled, indians, indian, native american, native americans, tribe, tribes, comedian, comedy, prop comedy, inappropriate, kill, killed, murder, murdered, death, dead, dies, die, bow, arrow, wild west, old west, westward expansion, shootout, shootouts
"Fascinating! Dr. Mort, this proves that the early Flightattenderthal did in fact impale passengers who brought on oversized carry-on luggage!"
Tags:jetlagged, jetlagged comic, jetlag, airlines, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, planes, airline, airplane, plane, travel, stewardess, stewardesses, flight attendant, flight attendants, air, hostess, hostesses, host, hosts, caveman, cavemen, cave, prehistoric, neolithic, passenger, impale, kill, death, dead, die, luggage, bag, baggage, bags, carry-on, oversize, oversized, cave drawings, cave art, cave paintings, baggage restrictions, luggage restrictions, carry-on, carry-ons
"My goodness, Albert! Open your eyes and watch out where you're going while grazing!"
Tags:unicorn, unicorns, rabbit, rabbits, pay attention, paying attention, distraction, distractions, distracting, graze, grazes, grazing animal, grazing animals, bunny, bunnies, accident, accidents, mistake, mistakes, horn, horns, unicorn horn, unicorn horns, impale, impales, impaling, easily distracted, add, adhd
'Yo Javelin toss is this way'
Vlad the Impeller
'Tough day at the office dear?!'
Dracula on Facebook.
Vlad The Impala ...
A Man about to become a Human Darts board
Vlad the Impala
'I can't remember ever having to remove a keeper from a rhino before.'