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'This is a collect call from 'THE CAPTAIN.' Do you accept all charges?'
'Today's in-flight amenities will also include fresh-from-the-oven homemade sugar cookies.'
"But having less legroom puts you closer to your screen."
'No, I don't do much flying. I'm just here for the peanuts!'
"Forget waterboarding, son. How would you like 24 hours of in-flight safety instructions in Welsh?"
'Now I'm worried. Someone said the part in the movie about why the airplane crashes was cut out!'
'Just in case I don't like the in-flight movie.'
'Now that you've taken a bite would you like to know what it is?'
'The worst part is not knowing how the flight movie ended.'
In-flight reading book varying in size depending on journey length.
'Ladiesh and gentlemen, thish ish your captain shpeaking, hic!' (Pilot drunk).
"Our special? Well, I'm glad you asked. Today's special is...um...."