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"Make that sound again, you know, the one that makes me laugh."
'My former boss will tell you I tend to say inappropriate things. But that's because he's an uptight jerk like you.'
'Can you imagine if he opened his eyes right now? I would totally freak!'
"Oh, you're the lady Mom is always talking about."
'You can see concrete things, but not abstract things.'
''He looks so natural' is for funerals, not weddings!'
'You didn't have to tell them I 'walk the streets' - I'm not ashamed to be a Traffic Warden' (wife to husband leaving friend's house)
'What's the damage?' (husband in beauty salon)