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"You will like Mr. Woofard. He has an attention-deficit disorder."
"It lets you hold the President's attention for a few extra seconds before he wants to change channels."
"Shouldn't you be writing some of this down?"
"I just wish my husband would ignore me a little more."
One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.
"Well, maybe next time you'll listen when Mommy tells you not to run with a porcupine."
'You never listen to me, you only hear what you wanna hear!'
"Just wait 'til I've read this book."
"He seems to get bored so easily."
"Nothing but junk mail and a death certificate."
Short lived superheroes - Captain ADD
"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."
"For gosh sakes, Mike! Will you please quit interrupting me while I eavesdrop on Mary's gossipy remarks to Bill during Jean's important presentation?"
You were texting, weren't you?
"Dang! I did it again!"