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"Once upon a time, there was a frozen pizza, and inside the pizza some very bad monsters lived. Their names were refined white flour, reconstituted tomato, and processed cheese. But the worst monster of all was called pepperoni!"
"Please help us reduce our garbage and improve our energy efficiency and our water quality. Help us to be eco-wise and-above all-to empower others."
"See? No socialists."
'At first it's just kindergarten, but then mission creep takes over and you're in college.'
"I just don't understand how parents can't see that their kids are getting indoctrinated right under their noses."
'The following program was made possible by a secret cabal of greedy capitalists....'
'If someone wanted to brainwash him, it wouldn't take much water!'
"They teach you your right from your left, and it just gets more political from there."