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"I hate this damn thing!"
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, afterlife, heaven, heaven's gate, entrance to heaven, st. peter's gate, saint peter's gate, pearly gates, st. peter, saint peter, angel, angels, god, computer, computers, computer problem, computer problems, technology, problem, problems, information technology, i.t., it, modern life
'We <html> <head> <body> <div class='main'> <ul>... In class today.'
'I was just ringing to see if you received the letter about the e-mails I sent you?'
"I only see the tech guru and the financial wizard. No sign of the systems ninja."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, employee, employees, worker, workers, financial wizard, financial wizards, wizard, wizards, tech guru, tech gurus, guru, gurus, wiseman, wisemen, wise man, wise men, ninja, ninjas, systems ninja, systems ninja, it, i.t., information technology, department, departments, technology, computer, computers, title, titles, invisible, invisibility, word play, wordplay
"You fix it by buying a new one."
Tags:tech support, technical support, it, information technology, i.t., i.t. support, it support, technician, technicians, technical help, techie, techies, modern life, modern technology, technology, computer, computers, smartphone, smartphones, smart phones, smart phones, laptop, laptops, tablet, tablets, broken, fix, repair, virus, viruses, computer virus, computer viruses, buy, buy a new one, product, products, customer service, service, helpdesk, help desk, helpdesks, help desks, geek, geeks, electronics, electronic devices
'Well, this certainly explains much of the company's missing data. Who else thought the 'DEL' key on their computer was for delegating work?'
"Are you saying we're about to add a little peripheral to our systems?"
Tags:technology, computer, computers, computer system, computer systems, computer engineer, computer engineers, techie, techies, technician, technicians, it, i.t., information technology, peripheral, peripherals, family, families, starting a family, pregnancy, announcement, announcements, announcing, bun in the oven, mom-to-be, mum-to-be, dad-to-be, father-to-be, mother-to-be, parent-to-be, parents-to-be, lingo, jargon, metaphor, metaphors
'I'd prefer it if they stored their stuff someplace else!'
"If your looking for something with a lot of memory, this baby right here will definitely fill the bill."
"The idea that the government introduces change for the SAKE of it is NONSENSE...we also introduce it so we have an endless stream of tabloid friendly headlines and meaningless sound bites."
"What's that, girl? Timmy forgot his password?"
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, modern life, technology, password, passwords, computer, computers, account, accounts, forgot, forgot password, working dog, working dogs, rescue, rescuing, saving, rescue dog, rescue dogs, dog training, dog trainer, dog trainers, dog trick, dog tricks, fetch, fetching, service dog, service dogs, help, aid, helpful, go for help, working animal, working animals, i.t., information technology, it, tech help, tech support
"Come on, men! This is for our kids to live in a free world! And for our grandkids to grow up in a world where they can spend hours a day looking at cats on some sort of fantastic information machine!"
Tags:war, wars, freedom, freedoms, fight, fighting, fight for freedom, world war 2, world war ii, second world war, computers, technology, computer, internet, social media, cat, cats, cat photos, disappointment, expectations, free world, phone, phones, online, cell, cells, on-line, world wide web, world war, grandkids, kids, it, information technology, fought for, died for, grandparents, soldier, soldiers, soldiering
"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, dating, date, dates, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, partner, partners, couple, couples, commitment, fear of commitment, serious, next level, next step, like, love, romance, romantic, interfacing, computer, computers, technology, technical, jargon, terminology, information technology, it, i.t., proposal, proposing, marriage, modern life
'Our school computers are a month old. How can we become competitive in our job market if we're being trained on obsolete equipment?'
"Why am I being trained on obsolete equipment?"
After paying the IT consultants we didn't have enough left for proper laptops!
I think that may have been one software revision and unnecessary upgrade too many for him.
"So how much will the new IT system cost?"
'I know you're a people person - that's why we have to let you go.'
"O.K., I'm good for I.T.—how about spreadsheets, anybody here good at spreadsheets?"
Tags:office, office life, worker, workers, employee, employees, job, jobs, work, business, businessmen, businessman, manager, managers, hire, hiring, day laborer, day laborers, day labourer, day labourers, workmen, workman, skill, skills, it, i.t., information technology, spreadsheet, spreadsheets, undocumented, contractor, contractors, boss, bosses, parking lot, parking lots, modern life, unemployment, unemployed
"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes and used in a hilarious mix for our annual office party."
Tags:telemarketer, telemarketers, telemarketing, tech support, technical supporter, it support, information technology, support line, support lines, help line, help lines, phone, phones, phone call, phone calls, record, records, recording, recordings, office party, office parties, christmas party, christmas parties, prank, pranks, pranking, amuse, amuses, amusing, gag reel, gag reels, training purposes, mix, mixes, customer service, customer service center, customer service centers, call center, call centers, call centre, call centres
"You all know General Petersen from I.T."
Tags:general, generals, commander, commanders, army, armed forces, armed, forces, i.t., computers, computing, computer, internet, nerd, nerdy, geek, geeky, cyber, cyberspace, cyber war, cyber warfare, intelligence, hacking, hackers, weak, frail, small, puny, intelligence gathering, technology, compute, information technology
'You mean you once had to WRITE letters?'
"We wanted patients to experience the human face of IT"
'Due to recent technological advances, everything I taught you about computers is no longer valid.'