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'Outside of athlete's foot, ingrown toenails,fallen arches and bunions, I've never felt better.'
'Well that's another four heart patients off our waiting list. They died while we were excising that ingrowing toe nail.'
'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'
'No only have you got one foot in the grace, but it's also got an in-growing toe nail.'