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'Man, I hate needles!!'
'Our new multi-syringe will take care of all your allergies in one fell swoop.'
"Hey Burt, shat happened to your eyebrow?""Botox."
"Are the humans in the sandwich raised without vaccinations?"
Tags:vaccination, vaccinations, vaccine, vaccines, vaccinated, antivaxxer, anti-vaxxer, anti-vaxxers, grisly bear, grisly bears, grisly, bear, bears, anti-vaccination movement, anti-vaccination movements, inoculation, inoculations, injection, injections, immunization, immunisation, immunisations, immunizations
'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'
"This will buy you four months.
Tags:doctor, doctors, shot, shots, injection, injections, drug, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, big pharma, prescription, prescriptions, medical problem, medical problems, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, booster, booster shot, booster shots, vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations, buy time, buys time, buying time, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, diagnosis, prognosis, prognoses, diagnoses, physician, physicians, comfort, comforting, bedside manner
"I couldn't agree more - but, then again, I hate even non-lethal injections."
Tags:cocktail party, capital punishment, execution, death, fitness, lethal injection, lethal injections, capital punishment, injection, injections, shot, shots, needle, needles, fear of needles, needle phobia, needle phobias, morality, executions, anti-death penalty, death penalty abolition, abolish, abolishes, abolishing, small talk, mankoff
"You should just feel a tiny prick, and then a lifetime of morphine addiction."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, needle, needles, injection, injections, syringe, syringes, pain, painkillers, painkiller, morphine, addict, addicts, addiction, prick, lifetime, lifetimes, drug abuse, medicine abuse, opiate, opiates, opioid, opioids, opiate abuse, opioid abuse
Antibiotics versus probiotics: A battle of wills.
To ensure that all of their citizens are protected against the flu, officials in Syracuse released 100,000 flu-inoculating bees.
'You're just going to feel a little pinch, then a horrific burning pain, your eyes will roll back into your head, you will drool uncontrollably...'
'I picked up this little trick on my holiday to New Guinea.'
'The patient in room 2070 is looking too comfortable. Go give her a shot or something.'
Flu pandemic precautions
Nurse has painted target of patient's butt.
'Sorry, she's at the mall priming the economy.'
'Pills and medicine are okay, but really doctor, I don't do shots.'
'Do you ever feel we're having too many inoculations forced on us?'
'All we have to do is place them on the waiting room chairs!'
Medical Professional Birthdays.
'If you miss this lumber puncture Doc, I get to puncture you with my fist.'
'Let's all practice bug control.'
'Too much botox, Mavis!'