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'We've got all the figures, we just haven't decided what order to put them in!'
'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'
'Now that's scary!'
'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'
'This IS our first time on the canal! How did you guess?'
Tax office in/out boxes read: Ask a silly question/Get a silly answer.
'Thanks for the jar of honey, Mr. McWit. Unfortunately, we only accept cash.'
'Rudderless and adrift? But, you're in Kansas, Evans.'
'That's what you would get after taxes.'
'I have not been able to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I'll give you £200. If I still can't sleep, I will send you the rest.'
'I'm testing my powers of deduction.'
'The tax breaks are unbelievable.'
'No Jean, hardly anyone stops to watch us operate the locks any more since Reg introduced his 'pay to view' system...'
Well that explains the steering problems I've been experiencing for the past two miles...
The rain has been falling for so long the animals are pairing up and forming queues by the boat! It must be time for the Crick boat show...
'Reg, check on Mother please. She's gone very quiet in the toilet...'
'A black eye? Let me tell you about the time I was hit by a flying windlass...'
'It IS an interesting hat isn't it? I made it from the skin of the last dog that fouled my mooring ropes!'
They won't be speeding past THIS moored boat!
'It IS old fashioned Cynthia, but Reg reckons it is quicker than getting an ASBO...'
Something tells me these guys are going to be here for more than half an hour....
'Relax - this is only tax hell.'
'I would have taken it with me but the Inland Revenue got it all before I left.'
IRS, trophy: TAXPAYER OF THE YEAR, 'I didn't realize it was that bad!'
"Welcome Mr. Bond. Do take a seat."