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'Hey, there's an IRS truck out front. And a bunch of agents. I'll bet they're delivering our refund. . .'
'We've got all the figures, we just haven't decided what order to put them in!'
'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'
"How is the budget forecast looking?"
'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'
"Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing!"
'Relax, I'm from the IRS. Death and taxes have merged.'
'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'
HMRC Self-Assessment - Poor
"As part of out customer care charter it's been decided that you don't need to give us your pants until tomorrow."
'I'm being audited! Quick, everyone into the tax shelter!'
'I notice you're claiming non-domicile status, Mr Bull...'
Penny Saved, Penny Earned.
"As part of our 'customer care' policy I'm going to let you bring in the rest tomorrow."
"Here you are!" "I'll have that, thank you!" Inland revenue gives/takes away.
'You seem to be raking in a lot of money.' 'I didn't realize I planted it in pay dirt.'
Tax Auditor door sign / Out to get you ? back in one hour.
'I see you have all of your checks and receipts. What are you trying to hide?'
"Stockings and guns are allowed, but you can only claim a portion of your car. How often was it used to get away?"
'I assume you have documentation to back up these 27 light-years of business travel.'
'Even if your dog does do 'His Business' in your basement, you still can't deduct it as office space.'
IRS: You are here - arrow points to taxes, in between birth and death.
What's this deduction of $20 million for gifts?
'You want a second opinion? OK, you owe thirty five hundred dollars AND you're ugly.'
White flag being waved through the door of the Internal Revenue Service.