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To appease the fans, major-league umpires are now required to take eye exams during the seventh inning stretch.
"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."
Tags:catcher, catchers, catch, coach, coaching, coaches, music, musicians, musical, classical, classical music, conductor, conducting, conduct, conducts, baseball, base ball, ball game, the game, sport, sports, team sports, batter, batting, play ball, inning, innings, orchestra, orchestral, adagio, adagios, allegro, allegro, fast ball, fastball, pitch, pitcher, pun, puns, punny
It has been 103 innings since I last played.
'Ok, there's some duct tape. Are you happy now, Mr. Prima Donna?...'
Tags:inning, innings, surgeon, surgeons, torn tendon, torn tendons, baseball injury, baseball injuries, baseball player, baseball players, inning, innings, medic, medics, team medic, team medics, team physiotherapy, team physio, team physios, team physiotherapists, prima donna, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'Gimme the remote. I think you got it on slo-mo.'
"Sorry about declaring, Syd, but I needed to pee."
Tags:batsmen, batsman, declaring, declaration, declarations, test cricket, cricket player, cricket players, cricketer, cricketers, cricket, match, matches, game, games, toilet break, toilet breaks, bathroom break, bathroom breaks, innings, forfeit, forfeits, forfeiture, emergency, county, sort, prostate, aging, team
"It's the middle of the inning and the investment advisors have taken the field."
Making sure the pitcher is up for the job.
'I think he's got another inning left in him... clear!'
'OK, OK, you win! ... here's 50 grand now, and you'll get another 50 when you get us out of this inning.'
'How does your arm feel, big guy? Can you go another inning?'
'It's a whole new ballgame out there, so get ready for some extra innings,'
'And when the vault blows, we grab the loot, jump in the getaway car and then disappear...'
Tags:organised crime, organized crime, criminal, criminals, bank robbery, bank robberies, bank robber, bank robbers, baseball, baseball player, baseball players, plan, plans, game plan, game plans, getaway car, getaway cars, inning, innings, game strategy, game strategies, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'7th inning, stretch time.'
'They play five innings or until six parents fall asleep, whichever comes first.'
'Attaboy, Dewey! Three up and three down!'
Tags:baseball, base ball, pitch, pitches, pitched, pitching, pitcher, pitchers, three up, three down, bat, bats, batting, batter, batters, batsman, batsmen, encourage, encourages, encouragement, encouragements, encouraging, inning, innings, please, pleases, pleased, pleasing, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'...Man, I'll be glad when this inning is over.'
Tags:baseball, base ball, meteor, meteors, meteorite, meteorites, abduct, abducts, abduction, abductions, abducted, ufo, ufos, alien, aliens, inning, innings, lightning, strike, strikes, pitch, pitches, pitching, pitcher, pitchers, disaster, disasters, disastrous, natural disaster, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"Can't it wait just one more inning?"
'I'm a cricket umpire.'
'Typical Aussie bowler.'
'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'
'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'
It was the bottom of the fifth and the bases were loaded.
Indians Smoke Signals.