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"Thank God you're here, first I need your help assembling this Ikea exorcism futon."
Tags:flatpack furniture, flatpack, flatpacks, furniture, furnitures, priest, priests, exorcism, exorcist, exorcists, futon, futons, instruction booklet, instruction guide, instructions, minister, ministers, preacher, preachers, demon, demons, possession, possessions, devil, devils, haunting, hauntings, haunted
'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'
Tags:wishing well, wishing wells, instructions, dependent, dependence, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, commercialisation, commercialised, commercialized, wish, wishes, making wishes, making a wish, hopes and dreams, mollycoddle, mollycoddling, service number, service numbers, theme park, theme parks, amusement park, amusement parks
"I'd like you to hop up and down on one foot and perhaps sing a little childhood ditty."
Tags:strange request, strange requests, instruction, instructions, request, requests, doctor's orders, doctors orders, doctor, doctors, general practitioner, general practitioners, medical check up, medical check ups, hospital, hospitals, doctors appointment, doctors appointments, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointments, physician, physicians, song, songs, singalong, singalongs, ditty, ditties
"To cross street, push button, wait for walk signal, wait, wait some more."
Tags:traffic light, traffic lights, road crossing, road crossing, cross walk, cross walks, crosswalk, crosswalks, automatic light, automatic lights, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, jaywalk, jaywalking, jaywalker, jaywalkers, loosing faith, breaking the law, impatient, impatience, road crossing, road crossings, pedestrian, pedestrians, instruction, instructions
'Dang it! I can't find a voting app.'
"Luke, use to Force, or crush up the Adderall Chewbacca gave you and snort it – your call."
Tags:prescription drug misuse, prescription drug, prescription drugs, medication, performance enhancer, cognitive enhancer, overprescription, phama, big phama, pharmaceuticals, big pharmaceuticals, big farma, lobby, lobbies, pharmaceutical lobby, phama lobby, drug, modern life, ped, peds, p.e.d., performance enhancing drug, performance enhancing drugs, focus, use the force, force, instructions, snort, snorts, drug pushing, pushing pills, your call, decisions, decision, sci-fi, science fiction, sci-fiction, sci fi
'Just keep running straight until you reach the end. Can't miss it.'
Tags:athlete, athletes, athletics, pole vault, pole vaults, pole vaulter, pole vaulters, run, runs, running, runner, runners, coach, coaches, coaching, coached, advice, advise, advises, advisor, advisors, instruction, instructions, instruct, instructs, instructor, instructors, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"This is why you read the instructions."
Tags:instruction, instructions, owner's manual, owners manual, manual, cowboy, cowboys, horses, horse, riding, ride, horseriding, piggyback, piggy back, obvious, easy, clear, lesson, regret, ignorant, mistake, mistakes, obviously, cow boy, cow boys, read, reading, guide, guides, learn, learning, hard way, ignore, ignores
'Listen up. ... When the ball is snapped, I want you to sprint for the end zone, cut through the tunnel, run out the gate, and don't ever come back.'
Tags:football, american football, nfl, national football league, tactic, tactics, strategy, strategies, coach, coaches, coaching, play, plays, player, players, instruct, instructs, instruction, instructions, instructed, get lost, go away, useless, rubbish, waste of space, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
A Thinking Man's Guide to the Tuxedo T-Shirt
Tags:tuxedo, tuxedos, tuxedo shirt, tuxedo shirt, t-shirt, t-shirts, tuxedo t-shirt, tuxedo t-shirts, tacky, tackiness, fashion faux pas, faux pas, fashion don't, outfit, outfits, unprofessional, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, instructions, guide, guides, fashionista, fashionistas, ironic, hipster, hipsters, dress up, dresses up, dressing up, classy, classless
'I told you not to wear your new contacts for more than 12 hours a day.'
"There's always one annoying piece left over."
Tags:diy, do it yourself, construction, constructing, constructs, bird, birds, nest, nests, flatpack, flatpacks, flat pack, flat packs, assemble, assembles, assembled, left over, mistake, mistakes, instruction, instructions, instruct, instructed, nesting, personified, relatable, left over, twig, twigs, stick, sticks
"O.K., now put Tab A into Slot B."
Tags:operation, operations, constructing, construction, build, building, builds, tab, slot, tabs, slots, instruction, instructions, booklet, booklets, manual, manuals, operate, operating, operating theatre, operating theater, hospital, hospitals, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, keyhole surgery, play on words, word play, word-play, doctor, doctors
"Your instructions were perfect."
'Here go, Thegla... It recipe you ask for.'
Tags:caveman, cavemen, cavewoman, cavewomen, recipe, recipes, cook, cooks, cooking, cooker, cookers, chef, chefs, ingredient, ingredients, instruct, instructs, instruction, instructions, fire, fires, flame, flames, mix, mixes, mixer, mixers, mixing, direction, directions, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'
How To Go In
Tags:instructional, lesson, lessons, instruct, instruction, instructions, instructor, instructors, ocean, oceans, sea, seas, seaside, sea side, sea shore, beach, beaches, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, swim, swimming, swims, relax, relaxation, free, freedom, relaxing, rest, restful, resting, break, take a break, having a break, woman
Too many coxes.
Tags:cox, coxed, coxes, coxswain, coxswains, row, rowing, rows, rowed, single, sculling, scull, sculled, unhelpful, useless, pace, pacing, paces, instruction, instructions, steer, steering, steered, confusing, confused, exercise, fitness, hobbies, sport, sports, shout, shouting, megaphone, megaphones, order, orders
Employees Must Wash Hands
Tags:hygiene, hygiene standards, hand wash, hand washing, was hands, bathroom, bathrooms, toilet, toilets, staff bathroom, staff bathrooms, staff toilet, staff toilets, double standard, double standards, employee, employees, office workers, office worker, instruct, instructions, washroom, washrooms, restroom, restrooms, loo, loos, washroom sign, washroom signs, restroom sign, restroom signs, bathroom sign, bathroom signs, hygiene regulation, hygiene regulations
"Swim across the moat but keep the pizza dry."
"Our mandates almost overlapped."
"When I let out a blood curdling yell and scream 'Jesus Christ you're going to kill someone' I'd like you to apply the brakes..."