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'We're trying to discourage carrier bag use.'
'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will stay with me forever as they sit inside me,getting turned over and over, being blown completely out of proportion."
No Smoking in the Castle
Tags:king, kings, royal, royals, royalty, castle, castles, smoking, smoker, smokers, bad habit, bad habits, no smoking, no smoking indoors, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, one rule for all, privilege, privileged, privileges, insult, insults, insulting, insulted, authority, no authority, above the law
"You make me want to be a better person than you."
Tags:choice, choices, restaurant, restaurants, dinner, eating out, out to eat, dining, fine dining, waiter, waiters, foodie, foodies, food lover, food lovers, date, dates, first dates, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, better, better person, self, self improvement, improving, improve, improvement, betterment, self betterment, self image, persuade, persuading, pretentious, pretentiously, self love, jealous, jealousy, competitive, competition, backhanded, backhanded compliment, insult, insulted, insulting, rude, rudely, mean, foot in mouth
Pay me or I'll vote for Nader
Tags:nader, ralph nader, al gore, george bush, bush, george w. bush, president, presidents, presidential, campaign, campaigns, election, elections, electoral, general election, general elections, green, greens, green party, threat, threatening, beg, begging, panhandle, panhandling, insult, insulting
"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."
"Why, thank you, pembroke. It is a harebrained idea."
Tags:harebrained, harebrain, hare-brain, hare-brained, harebrained idea, harebrained ideas, bad idea, bad ideas, hare, hares, rabbit, rabbits, insult, insults, executive, executives, business executive, business executives, manager, managers, business manager, business managers, boss, bosses, compliment, compliments, complimentary, misunderstand, misunderstanding, misunderstandings
"No offense, but your mother couldn't fry bacon, could't make toast, and could't heat up last week's beans, and her famous raisin pie would make a buzzard tremble."
Tags:couple, couples, old married couple, old married couples, arguing couple, arguing couples, argue, argues, arguing, argues, insult, insulting, insulting your mom, insulting your mother, mil, mother in law, mothers in law, daughter in law, daughters in law, cant cook, bad cook, bad cooks, no offence, no offense
"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."
Tags:duels, guns, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, gun duel, gun duels, dueling, duelling, villain, villains, enemy, enemies, honor, honorable, fair, fairness, honour, honourable, victory, victories, scoundrel, scoundrel, insult, insults, insulting, pistol, pistols, pistols at dawn, guns at dawn, mankoff
"You serve an inferior wine, Ted, but you have a nice view of Peconic Bay."
Plato The Standup
Tags:plato, philosopher, philosophers, philosophy, standup, stand-up, stand up, standup comedy, standup comedian, standup comedians, comedian, comedians, tough crowd, tough crowds, bad audience, bad audience, bore, boring, boredom, unfunny, insult, insulting, insulted, insults, ancient greece, classical greece, greek philosopher, greek philosophers
"I suggest that in future you eat all your lunch."
Tags:mom, moms, mother, mothers, mum, mums, lunch, lunches, packed lunch, packed lunches, boss, bosses, supervisor, unusual relationship, eating, eat, food, foods, appraisal, child, children, kid, kids, harsh, telling off, review, interview, reviews, interviews, dynamic, unusual dynamic, family business, business, businesses, insult, insulted, ground, grounded
Breaking down cardboard
"They're all Neanderthals."
"Was I upset when you gave me a full day of beauty?"
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, bad relationship, bad relationships, fitness, unfit, exercise, exercising, exercise machine, exercise machine, insult, insults, overweight, over-weight, criticism, criticising, gift, gifts, christmas, christmas time, christmas gift, christmas gifts, present, presents, christmas presents, christmas present
"We go to Stockholm, we accept our, prize, and then I never want to see your ugly mug again!"
Tags:scientist, scientists, physics, physicists, physicists, getting credit, shared credit, sharing credit, prize, prizes, award, awards, honoured, honours, working relationship, working relationships, stockholm, mathematician, mathematicians, scientific breakthrough, scientific breakthroughs, ugly mug, ugly mugs, insult, insults, insulted, disagree, disagreement, disagreements
"It's people like you, young man, who ruin it for everyone else!"
Tags:crimes, criminal, crimals, robber, robbers, robbery, robberies, bank robber, bank robbers, bank robbery, bank robberies, at gunpoint, at gun-point, at gun point, held at gun-point, held at gunpoint, held at gun point, bank eller, bank tellers, bank worker, bank workers, bank manager, bank managers, heist, heists, bank heist, bank heists, reprimand, reprimanded, tell off, told off, insult, insulted, belittle, belittled, mother, mothers, motherly, mothering, scold, scolded, theft, thief, thieves, armed robbery, armed robberies
"Next thing we knew, he started subjecting us to all this harsh, unfair criticism."
Tags:police, police man, police men, policeman, policemen, police officer, police officers, arrest, arrests, arrested, criticise, criticism, critic, critics, offend, offended, offending, insult, insulted, insulting, insulted, oversensitive, oversensitivity, over-sensitive, over-sensitivity, unprofessional, unprofessionalism, whine, whining, pathetic, unlawful arrest
"If you were on medication now would be a good time to adjust it."
"Dad, when did you realize you weren't, you know, exactly studly anymore?"
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, kid, kids, child, childhood, growing up, child rearing, ageing, getting old, getting on, getting older, middle age, middle aged, mid life crisis, mid life crises, mid-life crisis, mid-life crises, insult, insults, insulted, insulting, stud, studs, studly, attractive, attractiveness, handsome, handsomeness, losing your looks
"She didn't know what she was saying, Mr Kalish. Please believe me."
Tags:suitor, suitors, spurned suitor, spurned suitors, interfering mother, interfering mothers, interfering mum, interfering mums, interfering mom, interfering moms, dating, dates, courting, courtship, single, mother daughter relationship, mother daughter relationships, apartment block, apartment blocks, storm off, storming off, insulted, insults, insult, speaking for, speaking on behalf of, vintage, vintage cartoon, 1930s, 1940s, 1930, 1940, forties, matchmaking, matchmaker
"You look less like your idea of yourself than you think."
'It's not only that the other reindeer laugh and call me names. They also make disparaging remarks about my body image.'
"I'm saving that one for someone really special."
Tags:hot dog, hot dogs, hotdog, hotdogs, hot dog stand, hot dog stands, hot dog cart, hot dog carts, street food, vendor, vendors, hot dog vendor, hot dog vendors, someone special, somebody special, saved, saving, preserved, preserving, reserve, reserving, discriminate, discrimination, class divide, wealth divide, wealth gap, insult, insulted, insults, insulting