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'We're trying to discourage carrier bag use.'
'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'
No Smoking in the Castle
Tags:king, kings, royal, royals, royalty, castle, castles, smoking, smoker, smokers, bad habit, bad habits, no smoking, no smoking indoors, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, one rule for all, privilege, privileged, privileges, insult, insults, insulting, insulted, authority, no authority, above the law
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will stay with me forever as they sit inside me,getting turned over and over, being blown completely out of proportion."
"You serve an inferior wine, Ted, but you have a nice view of Peconic Bay."
"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."
"Why, thank you, pembroke. It is a harebrained idea."
Tags:harebrained, harebrain, hare-brain, hare-brained, harebrained idea, harebrained ideas, bad idea, bad ideas, hare, hares, rabbit, rabbits, insult, insults, executive, executives, business executive, business executives, manager, managers, business manager, business managers, boss, bosses, compliment, compliments, complimentary, misunderstand, misunderstanding, misunderstandings
"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."
Tags:duels, guns, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, gun duel, gun duels, dueling, duelling, villain, villains, enemy, enemies, honor, honorable, fair, fairness, honour, honourable, victory, victories, scoundrel, scoundrel, insult, insults, insulting, pistol, pistols, pistols at dawn, guns at dawn, mankoff
Breaking down cardboard
Plato The Standup
Tags:plato, philosopher, philosophers, philosophy, standup, stand-up, stand up, standup comedy, standup comedian, standup comedians, comedian, comedians, tough crowd, tough crowds, bad audience, bad audience, bore, boring, boredom, unfunny, insult, insulting, insulted, insults, ancient greece, classical greece, greek philosopher, greek philosophers
"We go to Stockholm, we accept our, prize, and then I never want to see your ugly mug again!"
Tags:scientist, scientists, physics, physicists, physicists, getting credit, shared credit, sharing credit, prize, prizes, award, awards, honoured, honours, working relationship, working relationships, stockholm, mathematician, mathematicians, scientific breakthrough, scientific breakthroughs, ugly mug, ugly mugs, insult, insults, insulted, disagree, disagreement, disagreements
"Was I upset when you gave me a full day of beauty?"
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, bad relationship, bad relationships, fitness, unfit, exercise, exercising, exercise machine, exercise machine, insult, insults, overweight, over-weight, criticism, criticising, gift, gifts, christmas, christmas time, christmas gift, christmas gifts, present, presents, christmas presents, christmas present
"They're all Neanderthals."
"Dad, when did you realize you weren't, you know, exactly studly anymore?"
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, kid, kids, child, childhood, growing up, child rearing, ageing, getting old, getting on, getting older, middle age, middle aged, mid life crisis, mid life crises, mid-life crisis, mid-life crises, insult, insults, insulted, insulting, stud, studs, studly, attractive, attractiveness, handsome, handsomeness, losing your looks
"You look less like your idea of yourself than you think."
"If you were on medication now would be a good time to adjust it."
"She didn't know what she was saying, Mr Kalish. Please believe me."
Tags:suitor, suitors, spurned suitor, spurned suitors, interfering mother, interfering mothers, interfering mum, interfering mums, interfering mom, interfering moms, dating, dates, courting, courtship, single, mother daughter relationship, mother daughter relationships, apartment block, apartment blocks, storm off, storming off, insulted, insults, insult, speaking for, speaking on behalf of, vintage, vintage cartoon, 1930s, 1940s, 1930, 1940, forties, matchmaking, matchmaker
'It's not only that the other reindeer laugh and call me names. They also make disparaging remarks about my body image.'
"I'm saving that one for someone really special."
Tags:hot dog, hot dogs, hotdog, hotdogs, hot dog stand, hot dog stands, hot dog cart, hot dog carts, street food, vendor, vendors, hot dog vendor, hot dog vendors, someone special, somebody special, saved, saving, preserved, preserving, reserve, reserving, discriminate, discrimination, class divide, wealth divide, wealth gap, insult, insulted, insults, insulting
"He's very self-loathing, but not enough."
'Happy Valentine's Day! Your gift this year is me!'
"What if it turns out you're not even a late bloomer?"
"It's not you, Larry. I'm just tired of dating 'low hanging fruit'. "
Tags:breakup, breakups, breaking up, broken up, broke up, low hanging fruit, low hanging fruits, insult, insults, alcohol, booze, bar, bars, pub, pubs, beer, beers, cocktail, cocktails, drink, drinks, drinker, drinkers, drinking, drunk, drunks, bartender, bartenders, dating, date, dates, fruit, fruits, apple, apples
'I'm feigning ignorance.'
'I've seen you play, they weren't lost, they were hiding.'